Q & A: Part 2 (updated)

Q: Hey Johnny! If the world were flat, would Taiwan be on the left or right side of the map?

A: It depends where you live.

This question was sent about 2 days after I became prepared to answer it. To prep for a lesson for my class, I drew a map of the world on my whiteboard. Mind you, I drew a map the way I know how, which is with England and the Atlantic Ocean in the middle, and the Pacific Ocean at the ends of the Earth, if you will:



For the most part, in Asia, the maps have the Pacific Ocean in the middle and the Americas are about as far to the right as you can get without falling off the map.


So I'm putting the finishing touches on my whiteboard map when a few of my students walk in, and to gauge my drawing skills I ask them to point out New York (keeping in mind these kids know its location very well). They went straight to the right side of the board and pointed at Japan. Confused at first, I asked them to point to Australia. They walked to South America, stared at it for a few seconds before pointing to Brazil. Taiwan? They pointed at Cuba.

So maybe I'll answer your question with another question: Where do you think Taiwan would be?


Q: Isn't America considered to be "Western civilization?" So wouldn't it be to the west of the rest of the world?

A: I'm don't know why I'm even responding to you people about this question. Can't we just accept that the world isn't flat, and you can reach the U.S. by traveling both east and west? If not, than please consult your internet browser for more information.

a hemisphere lesson with Dr. Globe
Dictionary.com's definition of "Western" (see def. 6)
Wikipedia's article on the "Western World"

Q & A: Part 1

Frightened by the legitimate threat of becoming just another burn out, I've decided to post the Q & A's in installments. With that being said, thank you to those who sent questions, and please don't hesitate to continue entertain me (and my billions of readers) with your questions!

Also, if you're wondering how I got here in the first place, please re-direct your attention here.


Q: Hello Johnny, I would like to know your thoughts on 7-11 (in Taiwan, of course).

A: In a word: convenient. Even in Shijr, there is a 7-11 (or Family Mart, or Hi-Life) within ear shot of the next one. One of my favorite sarcastic jokes (which will never get old) is when I'm on the phone either giving/taking directions and I use 7-11 as a reference point. There are 4 on the main floor of Taipei Main Station alone.

Practically speaking, however, 7-11 in Taiwan takes "convenient store" to a new level. In addition to buying my tea, breakfast, and beer there, I can also pay all of my utility bills there. They scan the bills, take the cash, and bada-bing bada-boom you're on your way.


Q: Who are the people from all over the world?

A: I'm assuming this is in reference to my ClustrMap, which boasts IP addresses from 28 countries around the world, including the recent addition of Nigeria, which gives me at least one red dot in each of the 6 inhabited continents.

The only thing I can attribute to this is the button on the top of the page that says "Next Blog," which when clicked, brings you to a randomly selected blog. I've used it a bunch of times and found some pretty interesting sites, but a lot of times I'm directed to a blog in another language. So unless you know the people in Peru, Kuwait, or Brunei Darussalam, these people will remain a mystery.

Thanks again for the Q's, more A's are on their way!

Earthquake!!

I woke up around 2:00 this morning feeling very confused. I jumped out of bed and felt very dizzy and disoriented. I leaned against my door-frame to keep from falling over. As my brain finally caught up with my body, I realized there was an earthquake. I heard glass shatter against the ground outside.

Once I felt like the quake subsided (only about 10 seconds or so), I still felt very woozy. I tried to walk to the bathroom, but for some reason my body felt like it hadn't shaken the earthquake sensation. Eventually it stopped and I got my stability back.

I found out later that a 6.3-magnitude quake off the east coast was the cause of this early morning rumble. I also learned that the reason I felt wobbly even after I could tell the earthquake had ended was because I live on the 23rd floor, and the whole building tends to sway for a solid 10 seconds after everything is over.

Yikes.
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[Also, much to my surprise expectation dismay, I haven't received very many questions for my Q&A post. My most common request is "Tell me the stories you don't put on your blog." Well, ask me the questions that I don't answer on my blog and I'll let you know!][

Send your questions

To all my friends, family, and readers worldwide:

For my next post, please send me questions for a Q&A! I'm running out of stories, and I'd like to know what you actually want to hear about. In a week I'll put together all the questions (if anybody asks any).

Example:

Q: Hey Johnny! What did you have for breakfast this morning?

A: Thanks for the question! This morning I had a bun thing that was filled with peanut butter and a fluff-like substance. I washed it down with an ice cold green tea latte. Nutritious and delicious!

I look forward to hearing your questions!
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The Voice

"The world is becoming a global village, and English is the passport for its citizens and the key for international communication."

My voice booms into the microphone. I am in a sound-proof room wearing headphones that feel like they are consuming my ears. I continue to talk about my school, trying to simultaneously make my voice sound a little deeper (a la Don LaFontaine), while still remembering to dictate the correct intonation that I had already scratched onto the script in the form of red accents.

"Like you are narrating something on the Discovery Channel," they tell me. I only hear voices.

* * *

The week before I found myself in a professional recording studio, someone from Management came to me asking for help writing a script for the school's promotion video. This included captions, subtitles, and of course, the English narrator.

The process was this: She would read the Chinese, explain it to me to the best of her English abilities, I would think about it, then type what I thought it was supposed to be. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

A request followed the translations for me to lend my deep voice and American accent to the promotion of the school. Mostly because this sounded like a pretty fun idea, yet also keeping in mind that requests from Management don't exactly come in the form of "yes-or-no" questions, I agreed and began practicing my voice fluctuation in order to emphasize the appropriate words.

After only 20 minutes in the studio for about 3 minutes of narration, I am finished.

"We will use this DVD until we go bankrupt." The thought lingers.