Word of the Day

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As of last week, I introduced a "Word of the Day" to my students. My goal is for it to act as something extra for them. They love learning the curriculum material, but as with anyone, they love anything outside the text that I can give them. Teaching outside the box not only provides them with extra information, but it also stimulates their interest and makes them more inclined to focus.

Please help me think of some good words! The criteria is pretty straightforward: something that they will be able to use everyday in a normal conversation. The ones we've had so far I have been able to pepper into lessons many times a day. Here is what we've done so far:

• amazing
• terrible
• spotless
• filthy

They use all of these words all the time already. For next week I have "obnoxious" planned. Obviously, so far I've only used adjectives, as they are the easiest to use and provide relevant context, but I'm not limiting myself to that. Anyway, suggestions are greatly appreciated. I'll let you know how they turn out. Thanks!

Taipei Zoo Report Card (Part 2)

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We meet again, Taipei Zoo. It seems like only yesterday that I was speed-walking through your African Animal Area as you tried endlessly to awe me with your exotic wildlife, subjecting yourself to my harsh grading system. A fine establishment indeed, although I only was able to see about 20% of what you have to offer.

This week, along with my kindergarten class, I was on the prowl again at the zoo. As judgmental as ever, I tried as best I could to inspect each animal exhibit while also juggling 18 five-year-olds in 90 degree heat and 113% humidity.


Formosan Animal Area: B-
For such a small island, Taiwan has some pretty impressive wildlife. The animals themselves were readily available for viewing and were nothing short of entertaining. My question though: how hard is it to get a deer, flying squirrel, otter, or black bear from any country and slap the word "Formosan" on the name tag to give yourself more diverse fauna? Anyone with me on this conspiracy theory?

Spider Monkeys: A+
These guys were born to be zoo animals. Swinging, climbing, jumping, and howling non-stop was enough to draw a standing ovation from a group of Taiwanese youngsters (and their American teacher). Sure beats whatever they were doing wherever they came from. Keep up the great work, guys!

Giant Panda: B+
The panda's grade went up slightly. The line was longer and the actual viewing time was about the same. One panda was passed out in the back corner of the cage, and the other one was pacing around. Continue air-conditioning the Panda House and I see great improvement in the coming months.

Needle-nose Pliers Crocodile: F
I made up the name, but I'm sure you can imagine this fabulous animal. "Teacher, is it dead already?" inquired one of my English-learning youngsters. How do you explain to a child about animals that refuse to flash their sharp teeth despite being fed and sheltered? Here's a tip: if you ever plan to get a passing grade, start by not blending in with your habitat.

Other kinds of Monkeys: A+
This includes all the Tropical Rain forest monkeys. Again with the climbing, swinging, picking, and just being generally disgusting(something that was happening on both sides of the barrier). All these guys have to do is show up to work and the crowd goes wild. I even took notes to improve my own teaching.

Leopard: D
This giant, dry-heaving, spotted feline was doomed from the start. None of my kids could wrap their minds around the fact that it wasn't a cheetah. Maybe next time, leopard. Good luck with that hair ball.

Asian Elephants: B
Sorry, boys, those tiny little ears don't hold a candle to the mainsails on the African Elephants. Major points earned for being an elephant. Always a crowd-pleaser, so good job being elephants. Sorry you didn't make it in the big tent. (Don't forget to giggle after reading the first sentence.)

Tigers: F
Wake up, you bums.

Nocturnal House: F-
I hope you understand that this wasn't my idea. This is my idea: a company called "Johnny's Pest Control/Nocturnal House Supplier." This place epitomizes that whole trash vs. treasure bit. I didn't know how to explain to my kids why I kept yelling "Scram!" at all the animals. "Teacher John, I can't see!" they whined. "That's okay," I said. "They're rats. Don't you remember anything I told you about New York?" The worst part about this dimly lit maze was that the only thing at the end was a great example of pathetic fallacy: a rainstorm.


Taipei Zoo: A-
The more I see, the more I like. Anything that keeps my class entertained for a day when I don't have to is A-OK in my book. Still to come in the Taipei Zoo Report Card series: The Penguin House, Amphibian and Reptile House, and the Bird House.


pictures of animals and my little kiddies from Zoo Round Two (just found out- the zoom function on my pic page is pretty cool.)

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Lights... camera... action!

...well, minus the lights. And the action. So with no lights or action, what do we need a camera for anyway?


So apparently even in Taiwan you need to pay your electric bill in order to ensure the output of electricity. Also, hopefully at this point not to anyone's surprise, the bills are in Chinese. Goodbye lights and action.

Assuming everyone has seen the movie "Office Space," (if you haven't: shame on you. If you're lucky, Blockbuster is still open. Go.) our power outage resulted in what played out to be exactly the "TPS report memo" situation. Once the news got around that Mike and I were having romantic candlelit evenings, here are some of the conversations we had at school...

"Do you know where your mailbox is?"
"Yeah, we check the mail pretty much everyday. We just don't think we got the bill."
"Okay. Because the bills usually come in the mail."

"Do you check your mail?"
"Yep. Our mailbox is empty, but we can't read Chinese."
"Okay. Maybe we'll send somebody over to help you check your mail."

"Do you know how to check your mail?"
"Yeah...we do. I checked today. Empty."
"Really. The bills come in the mail, so you have to make sure you check your mail and pay them."

...we'll make sure you get another copy of that memo.




to see me in a rice-picker hat, click here.

to read about David in Taipei City, click here.


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I <3 Taiwan

After a lovely afternoon of hot springs in Xinbeitou and a delicious "Garlic Fry Pork" dinner in Taipei, I boarded the train home to Shijr. We were packed like sardines into the train car, and the young Taiwanese gentleman in front of me happened to be wearing the classic "I ♥ NY" T-shirt.

Mike and I decided that I should tell him I am from New York. The conversation went something like this:

[Train moves abruptly and the boy falls into me. I catch him.]

J(ohnny): It's a good thing you love New York or I wouldn't have caught you!
B(oy): [smiles]
J: [pointing to the boy's shirt] I like your shirt. I'm from New York. [pulls out driver's license and points to "New York."]
B: [smiles] New York is very good. [thumbs up]
J: Taiwan is very good too [thumbs up]. I wish I had an "I love Taiwan" shirt.
B:[smiles]

[I happened to not only be wearing a plain white tee, but I also had a neat little pen with, not one, but four colors! Mike created a masterpiece on my chest...]



In order to show my respect and appreciation, I diplomatically returned the cross-ocean compliment. Together, as ambassadors for our respective countries, we shook hands, posed for pictures, chatted for a little while, and pretty much exhausted his English vocabulary. He likes baseball, particularly the New York Yankees, but even more particularly Chen Ming Wan. He also liked my chest muscles (which I was thrusting forward for the picture).

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Taipei Zoo Report Card (Part 1)

(photo update)

Here's a challenge: go to a zoo for 1 hour and try to find animals that don't suck.


Over the weekend, I went to Taipei Zoo with Mike and B. A late start got us there just before 4:00 pm, which is when they stop letting people in. The Zoo closes at 5:00, so we had about 1 hour to see as many animals as we could.

After we coughed up $60 NT, roughly 1.84 USD or 24.16 Mexican Pesos, we tried to map out the best route for seeing the "cool" animals, what we later decided were the ones from Africa. To sum up our trip I've decided to grade each exhibit.

Giant Panda: B
This is generous grade. I only managed 3 pictures because I was being herded quickly through the exhibit. They get points for just being cool animals. (Q: What did the Panda say to the Polar Bear? A: You shoulda seen the other guy!)

Everything in the Nocturnal House: F
Advice for zoo-goers: if you only have 1 hour to look at animals, skip the Nocturnal House. It's lame. Nocturnal animals are proof of evolution, because they're the animals nobody wants to see in the light. Nobody wants to see raccoons and field mice. Ever. Especially not at a zoo. We wasted 5 minutes trying to grope our way to the exits.

Camels: B+
Camels, you're alright. Nothing beats a field full of camel-toes. Especially when they've got the zookeepers spendin' all their money on 'em.

Hippos: A
For being fat with stumpy legs, you sure do kill a lot of people per year. And that thing where only your nostrils and eyes come out of the water is pretty cool, too. One of the few animals at the zoo that actually move.

Zebras: B
Like a horse, but not boring. This is one animal that makes you wonder "How did that happen?" Fortunately we got there right at half-time so we were able to get a few photos.

Rhinos: B-
Extra points for the built in weapon. Minus points for using your face as a kickstand to help you sleep while standing up while I'm trying to extract optimal cool-ness from the zoo. One of their faces was right in a pile of droppings. He'll probably wake up hungry.

Lions: A
I have a soft spot for lions, mostly because of The Lion King. No males on display, but at least Nala and Sarabi weren't inside the den nagging.

Giraffes: B
They were lying in the grass and not eating the highest leaves off the trees, which would be the ideal image to go along with my expectations. But long necks are cool, especially for animals with malodorous hooves.

Animals that resemble deer: D
There are a bunch of animals lumped into this category. Which is why they only get a D, because they aren't very unique. Curly horns, pointy horns, stubby horns, whatever. Do something productive with your life, like invest in a glowing nose.

Ostrich: A-
The ostrich found a hole in the pen and stared at us for quite awhile. It was a special moment. Come back when you can fly and you'll see that A- turn into an A+.

Gorilla: F
MIA

Assorted monkeys: C-
Chimps were MIA and the other monkeys flung too much poo at their Plexiglas windows so we could barely see anything.

Taipei Zoo: B+
Lots of (surprisingly correct) informative English. It's not the biggest zoo in the world, but for the price of 4000 ml of green tea, or two pieces of delicious fried chicken from the street vendor, or a piece of cake and a chocolate milk, how can you be disappointed? This review is 75% incomplete, as we pretty much only saw African animals. Perhaps one day I will pick up where I left off and finish the Taipei Zoo report card.

Is this the year?

For some, the hockey season may be over. For others, their most important game is still waiting for them.

For the less informed reader: I am a big ice hockey fan. To the point where I was getting up at 7:30 in the morning here to sometimes only watch scores refresh every 30 seconds. It's a far cry from the atmosphere at a real game, but it's about all I can do in a country where it's hard to grow ice.

Last weekend however, Mike and I caught wind of an actual ice hockey game taking place in Taipei City. At the grand Taipei Arena, which is only a few blocks from the hotel I lived in for the first month, there were two match-ups set for that night to decide the two teams that were going to the CIHL finals. Not only could I go to watch hockey (for free!), but playoff hockey! For those of you waiting for me to get homesick, this news set that date back a little bit.


I had absolute minimal expectations for this game. I half pictured me and Mike to be the only ones there. Inside Taipei Arena, we walked around and passed a Starbucks where a man was talking to a small group of other guys, saying things like, "I don't want this to be the last game we play this season. I like playing you guys." This team was clearly on the brink of elimination, and we could smell the desperation. It had a hint cinnamon spice mocha.

We took our seats in a slowly filling arena. There were already more people than I expected. Watching the teams warm-up, we decided we needed a team to root for and we landed on the Raptors, whose jerseys were cooler than their opponents, the Lions.

The puck dropped and they were on their way. The game was filled with breakaways and amazing saves, power plays, and they even threw t-shirts into the stands. Our Raptors cruised to a 4-2 victory and a chance for the championship. One of the highlights? Bob.

Bob, of the Hsinchu Raptors, had a fan club. When we arrived at the game, we saw a bunch of fans shuffling in with signs reading "Bob is #1!" and things of that sort. Most of the people were young Taiwanese children, who we assumed were Bob's students. All game long they were giving Bob love. After the game, a victorius Bob stepped off the ice and was mobbed by his adoring fans/students. It was cute as hell, and became a goal of mine for my tenure in Taiwan. Let's go Bob!


Tonight the Raptors are playing the Wolves in the game 3 rubber-match of the finals for all the marbles. I think I'm going to the game to support my boys tonight. Go Raptors!

(more pics from the game(s) soon on my Picasa page)

**Update** The Hsinchu Raptors are the 2008-2009 CIHL Champions after taking it to the Taipei Wolves, beating them by a score of 7-4

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