Do you miss me?

I had a chat with one of my co-workers the other day about what in fact is so appealing about living in Taiwan. He is one of the many people I know who planned to stay for a year and now has been here for about 5 years. I think he really hit the nail on the head with how he worded the situation.

He basically said that because we don't really live here, or speak the language for that matter, we aren't really involved in Taiwanese politics, drama, and other domestic issues that would normally strike our nerves back at home. On the other hand, we aren't at home to have to deal with those certain issues mentioned above. We are more or less isolated in our own worlds. It's a liberating feeling being a foreigner who is far away from home and politely ignorant to the immediate surroundings. It really gives you time to focus on yourself and your own life.

Speaking of reasons why I love Taiwan, apparently it's pretty cool if you have zits and are balding. Allow me to explain...

A few weeks ago I was chatting with my boss' husband and another of my superiors, both of whom are Taiwanese. I had just recently shaved my head and was telling them how I didn't really like my new hair cut because of how obvious it makes the fact that I am bald(ing).

"Not to worry," they assured me. "In Taiwanese culture, balding is a sign that you will be very successful. If you lose your hair it means you think a lot." (This is right on par with Billy Joel's thoughts on balding: "It's not about less hair, it's about more head.") Then, of course, they referred to the very man I was speaking with, who owns the school. He is, of course, very successful. However, his 40-year-old hairline has only receded approximately the diameter of 2 strands of hair. If that's all the hair-loss it takes to be successful, then at age 22 I should be ready to open a Swiss bank account in no time.


Also recently, I was talking with my co-teacher when she stopped mid-sentence and stared at my nose.

"Do you have a zit?" I hadn't seen a mirror in about 10 hours and she had a pretty good view of my face, so I presumed I did.

"Uh... I guess so," I answered sheepishly. In general, back at home, I think people politely pretend not to notice blemishes on their friends' faces.

"In Taiwanese culture that means that somebody misses you."

Well, I've had very clear skin since I've been in Taiwan, so that belief is either a really clever way to avoid embarrassment throughout middle school, or nobody really misses me (especially since that "zit" didn't even turn out to be one). You tell me...
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This deserves its own post

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Taiwan farts don't stink.

Yeah, I said it, and I think I would know by now. Ladies and gentleman of the jury...

Exhibit A:
I lived with Dave for a month in a room small enough for one small squeak to smoke the place out, but nothing. I slept in the same bed with him for a month. Not a single Dutch Oven. (Cold stare into the eyes of the jurors.)

Exhibit B:
I've been living with Mike for 2 months now and I'm not embarrassed to admit that we are not gas deficient. Odor, on the other hand, is definitely in short supply.

(Refill glass of water, only to pour it right down the hatch.) No further witnesses.

I don't know what to attribute this great phenomenon to, but I do know that it scares me. I will begin collecting evidence to figure out this mystery.

What's in a name?

"Names are a great mystery. I've never known whether the name is molded by the child or the child changed to fit the name. But you can be sure of this -- whenever a human has a nickname it is a proof that the name given him was wrong."

~John Steinbeck

Here is a list of great names I heard on Saturday:

Destroy and Icey: 2 dudes that work at the movie theater where I saw the new Terminator movie.
Liz: the guy that sold Mike a new pair of flip-flops. His name is very fitting.
Cola: an attractive girl that works at a jewelry counter in Ximending. C-O-L-A, Cola.
Skeet: a random guy we met at a grocery store that speaks great English. Wondering if he's aware of his name's implications.
Not Band: a rock and roll cover band consisting of a bunch of 17-year-olds that we met on the train.

Here we are rocking out with Not Band on the train:


Speaking of names, how about these names for students: Legal, Genius, Zero, Lion, Eagle, Apple, Christ... (it's a goal of mine to be asked to help assign English names to our new classes).

Finally, taking the award for awkward naming, here is a picture of me and Mike shopping for new hoods:

Bizzaros

At some point or another everyone has come across a "bizzaro" of someone they know. You know, the person who has an uncanny resemblance to someone you know, to the point where you would swear by insisting they are twins separated at birth, if not distant relatives.

As much as we like to play up the "unique individual" card, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sorta disagree with that. Sure, nobody shares your fingerprints, but I bet there are tons of people out there that could get away with being your stunt double.

Take snowflakes, for example. We all know that "no two snowflakes are exactly alike." But let's face it, when you are staring at two feet of snow on your driveway wielding a shabby plastic shovel, snow is snow is snow. You sure as hell aren't going to fingerprint any of those flakes. Isn't that what life is about, anyway? A bunch of snowflakes claiming originality, but all floating aimlessly in the same direction, praying that they can avoid a gaping mouth with a fat, warm tongue hanging out.

And for what? Maybe you get packed into the head of the biggest snowman on the block. Maybe you get pissed on. Maybe you get balled up and tossed into battle. Or maybe, if you're like most snowflakes, you just end up lying there among the rest of the flakes, waiting for the next one to fall on you and take your place on the front lines of the beauty of an untouched snowfall. And at what price? The closer to the surface you are, the sooner you are going to melt. But they keep coming, one after the other, fighting to be on top.

Whatever snowflake you have become or are destined to be, don't we all have the same fate? As sure as the sun will rise, Spring will come and the snow will melt. Once a blinding white blanket of snow is now a puddle turning dirt into mud. Are there any two drops of water that are alike? Are there any that are different? Where do you draw a line between a drop of water and an ocean? At one moment you are a frozen crystal with never before seen beauty, and the next moment you are seeping into the ground and can't tell yourself from the guy next to you, helping you hydrate the weeds in somebody's garden.

If the glass is half full, or if your religion allows it, one day you will find yourself again, after what seems like an eternity of evaporation, condensation, etc., until one day you're floating with the grace of a falling rose petal from a gray cloud on a winter day, a one-of-a-kind snowflake.


...anyway, back to bizzaro people. Since being in Taiwan I've seen a handful of people's Asian Bizzaro. Mike and I have both have had a few instances where we see an Asian person and claim, "If my buddy from home was Asian, that's exactly what he would look like." And there's really no more explanation you can come up with. The two people probably look nothing alike, but there are some people that are distinctly Asian Bizzaros.

Here's an interesting fact:
The only reason I sat down and even opened up a new post was so that I could post this picture. The Asian Bizzaro theory became too real when I saw a Bizzaro Stanley!

Homesick?

I don't think so. No offense, home.

"Aren't you craving a Jack Daniel's Burger from T.G.I. Fridays?" you might ask. "Think about that all-beef patty glazed with Jack Daniel’s traditional glaze and stacked with two strips of crispy bacon and smoky Provolone cheese on a toasted bun. (Served with a side of Jack Daniel's traditional glaze)."

"Good point, I think I'll head to Ximen this weekend."

Obviously major restaurants franchise globally, so it's not really news that I can grab a burger whenever I feel like it. It is pretty safe to say that I'm not really feeling homesick, though, and especially not from a lack of Western-style food. Since I've been here I've had burgers, fries, pizza, pasta, you name it. While it's not especially hard to come by, its more likely that I'll be eating Clean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese, Chinese, or even an occasional Kiwi Burger.

My tenure in Taiwan is approaching the 3 month landmark, which I'm told is a relatively trying time period in terms of culture shock and homesickness. Apparently the first 3 months is a "honeymoon" period where everything seems amazing and novel. Spot on so far. If I am to comply with predictions, I should be coming up on the period where my immune system weakens and I become vulnerable to homesickness.

While I can't see myself being homesick anytime soon, the Taiwan novelty has become slightly diminished (as noted by my lack of interesting things to say in posts). On the other hand, I am always very busy with school, so my time to go exploring and find new things is a little bit less than when I was unemployed.

Homesick? The verdict is "no." If I do start to feel the symptoms I will be sure to post them, but in the meantime, check out what I ate for dinner last night:


I think I've come a long way since gagging on chicken feet.


Other updates from this hemisphere: I finally got my ARC (Alien Resident Certificate), making me a legal alien in Taiwan. Take me to your leader... Typhoon season is coming and I'm trying to figure out a way to carry an umbrella and not feel like a fruitcake... I'm still taking W.O.D. suggestions. For the complete list, click here... I've also introduced "Phrase of the Day" for commonly used phrases and idioms. For the complete list, click here... After my 4-day weekend, my school threw a 6-day week counter punch (with a 1-day weekend to cap it off)... I may or may not have shaved my head.
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