Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Material (Under)World

Today when I was driving my scooter home, once on the little alleys and lanes near my apartment, it became necessary to start weaving and zig-zagging around clusters of people watching paper burn in metal wastebaskets.

Enter "Ghost Month," or the 7th month of the Lunar Year
. "During this month, wandering specters and ghosts visit the world of the living to enjoy the offerings of the people." In other words, the paper burning in those metal wastebaskets in the middle of the road is actually money being wired to dead people via incineration.

Of course it's fake money. It's actually called "joss money." It's been a long-standing tradition to credit the dead with wads of fake dough in order to "meet their expenses" in the underworld. This obviously evolved from burning real money and burying valuables, although I don't think there's any record of some logical rebel suggesting people don't light their life-savings on fire.

I just read a great article called "Underworld Finance," which gives a pretty good history of joss money. It even gets into the details that I was wondering about, such as "I wonder what the exchange rate is from real money to fake money," because let's try as best we can to look at this logically: if you purchase something for $5 for the sole intent of burning it... why not just burn the $5 and cut out the middle man?

The answer is simple... people will buy just about anything (literally and figuratively). The kind of people that bought into the concept of an afterlife are the same kind of people that believe the dead need money, and are the same kind of people that would purchase special money to give them.

You have to love/hate those jobs out there that make you pinch the bridge of your nose and say "Why didn't I think of that?" There are people who make their living by literally trading fake money for real money. And a LOT of real money. Go ahead and ask... how much?

"Taiwan's total annual consumption of the otherworldly currency is estimated at NT$80 billion (US$2.4 billion)."

The article doesn't actually give the exchange rate, so while the Taiwanese are spending US$2.4 billion on joss money, I haven't a clue how much the dead are actually receiving. Even without that exact figure, I know an investment opportunity when I see one. With that much money being pumped into the underworld economy, why not just off yourself and set up shop in the next life? Some broke people kill themselves anyway, why not do it with a plan? Obviously when you do it, have some cash tucked away in your pocket to cover the small business start-up costs.

Personally, I don't believe in any kind of afterlife. However, given the choice between an afterlife with 72 virgins, or one where I still have expenses and I'm dependent on my relatives to send me a royalty check for using my last name, I think I know which I'd choose. Most people probably spend their entire lives worrying about money, and we still have bills to pay when we die? To grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death indeed!

In yet another article about burning fake money, I found that there are environmentalists that are pointing out some problems in this ancient Asian tradition. Apparently 90,000 tons of paper can cause a little bit of pollution when burned. Here are the solutions mentioned:

- banning the burning of fake money in certain places around Taiwan (great for the environment, but kills the tradition)
- setting up communal burnings at temples (meeting in the middle...)

And of course, since it is 2010...

- "A few authorities have even set up online money burning services were it’s possible to visit the online temples and burn paper money virtually, and an official certificate is issued to document their visit to the temple and how much money they allegedly burned." (everybody wins!!)

Here's my get-rich-quick scheme: Convince people that it's okay to just burn a credit card, kill myself, and set up a credit card company in the afterlife.

4 comments:

Brendan said...

Dude don't do it! I don't think it will work!!!

Johnny said...

haha yo ok i won't!

mom said...

is this anything like free money????

Johnny said...

for the guy who sells fake money, it's about as free as it gets.