(warning: not for the faint of heart)
My days of 8:30-3:30 are over. The Squirrels are no longer my only students. I now know why teachers stress out.
Without getting way too overly hyperbolic and making a gigantic, unnecessary, blown-out-of-proportion exaggeration, I'll try to explain my new class: Starter X.
Let's start with the name. Each buxiban (in which the variable x=sh) class is given a letter name, based only on the order in which they are created. When I was told that I was volunteering to take a new class, I was ecstatic about the name. How badass. I actually find it hard to say "Starter X" aloud without crossing my arms and getting into a crouched position like I'm bracing for an attack.
Anyway.
On the subject of names, I finally got to name some students! They were all quasi-normal, based on my opinion of normal after having encountered a fair amount of people with English names in the past 22 years. That being said, I take no blame (or credit?) for Bernini, York, Gigi, Pola, Soros, or Vivi, who all signed up for my class with English-ish names.
The class, which I already claimed is not for the faint of heart, can only be described in comparison to my Squirrels. I'm very quick to say that the Squirrel class is the envy of the school, yet I'm just as quick to admit that this was true of them before I took over. They speak incredible English, they have impeccable manners, and a sense of awareness and etiquette that is absent in a great deal of the adult population. Hopefully you're getting the idea of the contrast about to come.
Starter X is on average about 2 years older than the Squirrels. However, the Squirrels have 2 more years of classroom experience (2-0=2). Starter X is hardly a few weeks beyond their first footsteps into a real classroom in Chinese elementary school, so they are lacking the basic knowledge of "sit in a chair and watch the adult in front of you for more than 10 seconds at a time." For me, the gap dividing teacher and student, Chinese and English, is bridged by a puppet. Or an over-sized blow-up dice. This gets them to at least try to repeat what I'm saying. And I try not to say much, because "Okay... say 'pencil'" turns into "okaysaypencil."
I come prepared to class with about 1,000 activities so I can keep their attention at all times by either singing, dancing, hitting myself with a puppet, giving them a hammer to hit flash cards with, juggling, clapping... does the word "clown" come to mind?
Starter X is only 2 extra hours a week, but so far, after 3 weeks, I have yet to come out of that class without sweat on my brow, a hoarse voice and a finger on the trigger. It's a really awesome experience, since this is exactly what I thought I'd be doing over here. Not that I have a problem with how 30 minutes before I step into X-Class I'm listening to my 6-year-old girls explain to me that "A sea turtle's habitat is the ocean and not a pond because they need salt-water to live and will die in fresh water."
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
H1N1
First SARS, then the tsunami, then Typhoon Morakot, and now H1N1. When will God stop using south-east Asia as his personal punching bag?! The humanity!
At the first sign of the H1N1 virus, the world was in a craze. Until Michael Jackson died. Then we pretended to mourn him. Then Kanye totally burned Taylor Swift at the VMAs and we all were upset with him. So on and so forth, the big wheel keeps on turnin'. Only H1N1, or what was informally and formerly known as "swine flu," has not rolled off the ducks' backs quite yet.
I honestly thought that we, the collective global population, were over H1N1. That is until I began to hear my kids talking about. "If you have H1N1 then you will be dead already." Temperatures are now screened at the front door of the school, and each teacher has been issued a large spray bottle of alcohol hand-wash with instructions to "fire at will." Sure enough, H1N1 has crept its way out of hiding and back into our lives.
These days, H1N1 is a sort of lingering fear. Almost teen thriller-esque, with each person wondering who is going to get it next. And just when I was starting to get used to handfuls people on the subway and students in my class wearing surgeon masks on occasion, maybe to be polite if they have the sniffles, the masks become an accessory rivaling the abundance of watches or pants. Instead of students, I have a class of bandits.
"Hmphllo Teaschr Jshon," I hear through the mask. Before a kid answers I have to motion to my mouth to have them pull their mask down so I know what they are saying. Literally, every kid in one of my classes was wearing a mask one day.
On that note, however, my kindergarten class that has 21 kids enrolled in it, averaged 10 students for all of last week. A kid gets sick and they are doctor sanctioned to take 5 days off from school, probably for both recovery and prevention. My class was apparently a day behind the prevention part.
As a vaccination for H1N1 is hopefully around the corner, the struggle to contain the virus continues. For now, I'm safe, but I've instructed Mike to send out an email/post should I get infected and quarantined.
At the first sign of the H1N1 virus, the world was in a craze. Until Michael Jackson died. Then we pretended to mourn him. Then Kanye totally burned Taylor Swift at the VMAs and we all were upset with him. So on and so forth, the big wheel keeps on turnin'. Only H1N1, or what was informally and formerly known as "swine flu," has not rolled off the ducks' backs quite yet.
I honestly thought that we, the collective global population, were over H1N1. That is until I began to hear my kids talking about. "If you have H1N1 then you will be dead already." Temperatures are now screened at the front door of the school, and each teacher has been issued a large spray bottle of alcohol hand-wash with instructions to "fire at will." Sure enough, H1N1 has crept its way out of hiding and back into our lives.
These days, H1N1 is a sort of lingering fear. Almost teen thriller-esque, with each person wondering who is going to get it next. And just when I was starting to get used to handfuls people on the subway and students in my class wearing surgeon masks on occasion, maybe to be polite if they have the sniffles, the masks become an accessory rivaling the abundance of watches or pants. Instead of students, I have a class of bandits.
"Hmphllo Teaschr Jshon," I hear through the mask. Before a kid answers I have to motion to my mouth to have them pull their mask down so I know what they are saying. Literally, every kid in one of my classes was wearing a mask one day.
On that note, however, my kindergarten class that has 21 kids enrolled in it, averaged 10 students for all of last week. A kid gets sick and they are doctor sanctioned to take 5 days off from school, probably for both recovery and prevention. My class was apparently a day behind the prevention part.
As a vaccination for H1N1 is hopefully around the corner, the struggle to contain the virus continues. For now, I'm safe, but I've instructed Mike to send out an email/post should I get infected and quarantined.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Q and A: Part 4.5
Q: Do they need a license to drive? How old do they have to be?
A: According to the law, a license is required to operate a motor vehicle in Taiwan. That's about as far as I know the rules. I do know of foreigners that have been motor vehicle operators for awhile without licenses, and it's not hard to see how they pull it off.
I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but the amount of scooters in this country is astounding. It would be impossible to have random check-points for licenses, registration, or to look for anything to enforce any laws. It doesn't seem possible to even be able to scan a cluster of scooters for a certain license plate number. And, as previously mentioned, scooters have their own set of laws that allow them to disappear into even the most dense of traffic.
An interesting (and fool-proof, if I might add) idea for an Asian guy:
Rob a bank and have a get-away scooter. No ski-mask needed. What's going to come over the police radio?
"Stay on the lookout for an Asian male, appears to be between the age of 20 and 50. Around 5' 6". Short, straight black hair, dark eyes and driving a black and gray scooter, license plate ##x##x."
It's too bad the people in this country are so damn nice, otherwise I'd recruit somebody and split the NT dollars.
A: According to the law, a license is required to operate a motor vehicle in Taiwan. That's about as far as I know the rules. I do know of foreigners that have been motor vehicle operators for awhile without licenses, and it's not hard to see how they pull it off.
I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but the amount of scooters in this country is astounding. It would be impossible to have random check-points for licenses, registration, or to look for anything to enforce any laws. It doesn't seem possible to even be able to scan a cluster of scooters for a certain license plate number. And, as previously mentioned, scooters have their own set of laws that allow them to disappear into even the most dense of traffic.
An interesting (and fool-proof, if I might add) idea for an Asian guy:
Rob a bank and have a get-away scooter. No ski-mask needed. What's going to come over the police radio?
"Stay on the lookout for an Asian male, appears to be between the age of 20 and 50. Around 5' 6". Short, straight black hair, dark eyes and driving a black and gray scooter, license plate ##x##x."
It's too bad the people in this country are so damn nice, otherwise I'd recruit somebody and split the NT dollars.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Q and A: Part 4
Here is the latest installment of Q&A, keep the questions coming if you have any.
Q: Are there squirrels? If not, what animals do people typically swerve their car for while driving? Are there scary spiders?
A: For starters, yes, there are scary spiders. Last weekend I adventured up the mountain in Shijr and saw some spiders bigger than my open hand (and cried). And yes, there are indeed squirrels. Each class at my school has an animal name (Hamsters, Koalas, Rabbits, and of course Mike's class: the Unicorns), and my class, the Squirrels. So yeah, there are 21 of them. Besides that, I've seen some real squirrels. However, beyond stupid tiny white dogs with pink ears, stray dogs, stray cats, and cockroaches, animals are hard to come by in a city. Especially on a road, but don't let that fact fool you into thinking people don't swerve while driving.
Traffic laws here are less like laws, and more like guidelines. The lines on the roads are merely indications that at one point they had planned to have some type of organization. Enter: the scooter. A vehicle, that if it follows any laws at all, they are a hybrid of pedestrian, bicycle, and motor vehicle laws, while still taking many of the same liberties granted to an emergency vehicle. The scooter has access to roads, crosswalks, and sidewalks alike, and the scooter operator will not be tied down by a few painted lines on the road. Scooters in traffic are like water, always finding an opening to get through.
Having driven a scooter for a somewhat lengthy distance (more on that later, maybe), I have experienced the mayhem of Taiwan traffic first-hand, and it was has been by far the most terrifying adventure since I've been here.
Q: Are there squirrels? If not, what animals do people typically swerve their car for while driving? Are there scary spiders?
A: For starters, yes, there are scary spiders. Last weekend I adventured up the mountain in Shijr and saw some spiders bigger than my open hand (and cried). And yes, there are indeed squirrels. Each class at my school has an animal name (Hamsters, Koalas, Rabbits, and of course Mike's class: the Unicorns), and my class, the Squirrels. So yeah, there are 21 of them. Besides that, I've seen some real squirrels. However, beyond stupid tiny white dogs with pink ears, stray dogs, stray cats, and cockroaches, animals are hard to come by in a city. Especially on a road, but don't let that fact fool you into thinking people don't swerve while driving.
Traffic laws here are less like laws, and more like guidelines. The lines on the roads are merely indications that at one point they had planned to have some type of organization. Enter: the scooter. A vehicle, that if it follows any laws at all, they are a hybrid of pedestrian, bicycle, and motor vehicle laws, while still taking many of the same liberties granted to an emergency vehicle. The scooter has access to roads, crosswalks, and sidewalks alike, and the scooter operator will not be tied down by a few painted lines on the road. Scooters in traffic are like water, always finding an opening to get through.
Having driven a scooter for a somewhat lengthy distance (more on that later, maybe), I have experienced the mayhem of Taiwan traffic first-hand, and it was has been by far the most terrifying adventure since I've been here.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Emily's Greatest Hits
Over the course of the last 5 months or so that I've spent with my class, I pick up pointers from the students themselves on the best way to teach them. A teacher can plan every minute of every lesson and still come up empty when it comes to actually teaching, if they don't know the audience. Of course, I've been on a epic trial-and-error journey with this whole teaching bit, but like I said, the best material comes from the students themselves.
Every two weeks I teach what we call a "Reader," which is usually an 8-page book with a specific phonics point, (i.e. lots of "l" words, "Lucy likes lettuce.") and a repeating grammar pattern. "Lucy likes [lettuce, lasagna, ladybugs, etc.]" I have two weeks to get them to be able to read the whole thing, comprehend the meaning of each word, and also be able to apply the grammar pattern to everyday speech.
The first, and arguably most important, day of this 2 week window is the presentation; introduce the VOC (vocabulary) through an interesting story that uses the grammar pattern and also is stimulating enough for them to remember. Here's where the students come in:
In order to tell a successful story, a teacher needs to be inside the mind of the students. Find out what makes them tick. In my class' case, it's any kind of babies, animals or people, families, and places they know very well, like 7-Eleven. Peppering these ingredients throughout any story is going to increase the retention rate 10-fold. After realizing this, I have a sort of series of stories that I like to tell. We'll call them "Emily's Greatest Hits."
I think we are all aware of the phenomena of teachers having a life outside of school. I can remember trying to wrap my own head around the fact that some of my elementary school teachers have parents, and I'll never forget the moment I told the Squirrels that I have little sister. It pretty much rocked their world and they had a million questions. Now, whenever I tell Emily Stories, I have full and undivided attention.
Amusement Park (rides):
When I was in New York, I went to an amusement park with my little sister, Emily. There were so many rides! We walked around for a little while because we didn't know which ones to go on first. "Let's go on the roller coaster," I suggested. "I don't want too! It's too fast!" Emily said. So we kept walking. "Let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" But no, "It's too high!" Emily said this time. (The cable cars were also too high, bumper cars were too scary) so we eventually just went on the Merry-go-round because it wasn't too fast, wasn't too high, and we got to ride unicorns.
Emily's Day Off (illnesses):
Emily really didn't like to go to school. One day she decided to pretend to be sick. When my mom came in to wake her up for school, Emily said "oooohhhh (holding her stomach)." My mom asked "What's the matter?" to which Emily replied, "I have a stomachache." But my mom is very smart and said, "No you don't! Got to school!" Emily's reaction was scrunched up lips, lowered eyebrows, and hands to the hips with a healthy "Hmph!!" This conversation happened every morning for a week, but substituting headache, cold, fever, sore throat.
Stop By a Pond (pond animals):
When Emily was a baby, I took her to a pond to see all the animals. We saw some ducks and I whispered "Emily, look at the ducks!" and she screamed "WOW! COOL!" and scared them all away. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and pinched the bridge of my nose and said "Emmmmaaaaleeeeeee..." The same thing happened with a beaver, an otter, and some turtles. When we saw some polliwogs, she finally whispered, but she touched the water and they all swam away. Then she saw a frog and pointed it out to me and I said, "WOW!! COOL!" and I scared the frog away.
So, Emily, even though you sound like a problem-child in my stories, my students think you are hysterical and they love you (so do I!).
Every two weeks I teach what we call a "Reader," which is usually an 8-page book with a specific phonics point, (i.e. lots of "l" words, "Lucy likes lettuce.") and a repeating grammar pattern. "Lucy likes [lettuce, lasagna, ladybugs, etc.]" I have two weeks to get them to be able to read the whole thing, comprehend the meaning of each word, and also be able to apply the grammar pattern to everyday speech.
The first, and arguably most important, day of this 2 week window is the presentation; introduce the VOC (vocabulary) through an interesting story that uses the grammar pattern and also is stimulating enough for them to remember. Here's where the students come in:
In order to tell a successful story, a teacher needs to be inside the mind of the students. Find out what makes them tick. In my class' case, it's any kind of babies, animals or people, families, and places they know very well, like 7-Eleven. Peppering these ingredients throughout any story is going to increase the retention rate 10-fold. After realizing this, I have a sort of series of stories that I like to tell. We'll call them "Emily's Greatest Hits."
I think we are all aware of the phenomena of teachers having a life outside of school. I can remember trying to wrap my own head around the fact that some of my elementary school teachers have parents, and I'll never forget the moment I told the Squirrels that I have little sister. It pretty much rocked their world and they had a million questions. Now, whenever I tell Emily Stories, I have full and undivided attention.
Amusement Park (rides):
When I was in New York, I went to an amusement park with my little sister, Emily. There were so many rides! We walked around for a little while because we didn't know which ones to go on first. "Let's go on the roller coaster," I suggested. "I don't want too! It's too fast!" Emily said. So we kept walking. "Let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" But no, "It's too high!" Emily said this time. (The cable cars were also too high, bumper cars were too scary) so we eventually just went on the Merry-go-round because it wasn't too fast, wasn't too high, and we got to ride unicorns.
Emily's Day Off (illnesses):
Emily really didn't like to go to school. One day she decided to pretend to be sick. When my mom came in to wake her up for school, Emily said "oooohhhh (holding her stomach)." My mom asked "What's the matter?" to which Emily replied, "I have a stomachache." But my mom is very smart and said, "No you don't! Got to school!" Emily's reaction was scrunched up lips, lowered eyebrows, and hands to the hips with a healthy "Hmph!!" This conversation happened every morning for a week, but substituting headache, cold, fever, sore throat.
Stop By a Pond (pond animals):
When Emily was a baby, I took her to a pond to see all the animals. We saw some ducks and I whispered "Emily, look at the ducks!" and she screamed "WOW! COOL!" and scared them all away. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and pinched the bridge of my nose and said "Emmmmaaaaleeeeeee..." The same thing happened with a beaver, an otter, and some turtles. When we saw some polliwogs, she finally whispered, but she touched the water and they all swam away. Then she saw a frog and pointed it out to me and I said, "WOW!! COOL!" and I scared the frog away.
So, Emily, even though you sound like a problem-child in my stories, my students think you are hysterical and they love you (so do I!).
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It's truly an honor
.
When someone mentions the word "sports," who do you think of?
Of course you do, but what about when someone mentions sports in the Northern Virginia/ Washington D.C. area, who do you think of?
Getting warmer.
How about when someone is talking about sports announcers, more specifically the man who is behind the booming voice that is Lynchburg College Athletics?
You guessed it. Jamie "Itsa notta Chihuahua" Chagnon.
For the better part of a decade, Jamie, or as his canine friend (who may or may not be from south of the border) refers to him as, Hi-May, has been backing Lynchburg Athletics every step of the way. Both on and off the field, he has either been making or calling every play in every sport the Virginia institution has to offer.
"I'm going to be an important person in the sports industry one day," says Jamie. With his unmatched dedication and his passion for learning, Jamie is on his way to proving that one can not put a time limit on education. His thirst for knowledge and his even bigger craving for sports will inevitably bring him to the dream he has set out to achieve.
To some, a local hero. To others, an LC groupie. But to most, an aspiring, inspiring sports fan that is out to show that we can make a difference in this world.
When will that day come? My answer to that: there's no crystal ball for greatness, and the lines in your palms only lead to the hands that are willing to put in the work to get you where you need to be.
When all is said and done, I will look back, with a solitary tear of bliss and authorial pride streaking down my cheek, and say, "The man read my blog."
When someone mentions the word "sports," who do you think of?
Of course you do, but what about when someone mentions sports in the Northern Virginia/ Washington D.C. area, who do you think of?
Getting warmer.
How about when someone is talking about sports announcers, more specifically the man who is behind the booming voice that is Lynchburg College Athletics?
You guessed it. Jamie "Itsa notta Chihuahua" Chagnon.
For the better part of a decade, Jamie, or as his canine friend (who may or may not be from south of the border) refers to him as, Hi-May, has been backing Lynchburg Athletics every step of the way. Both on and off the field, he has either been making or calling every play in every sport the Virginia institution has to offer.
"I'm going to be an important person in the sports industry one day," says Jamie. With his unmatched dedication and his passion for learning, Jamie is on his way to proving that one can not put a time limit on education. His thirst for knowledge and his even bigger craving for sports will inevitably bring him to the dream he has set out to achieve.
To some, a local hero. To others, an LC groupie. But to most, an aspiring, inspiring sports fan that is out to show that we can make a difference in this world.
When will that day come? My answer to that: there's no crystal ball for greatness, and the lines in your palms only lead to the hands that are willing to put in the work to get you where you need to be.
When all is said and done, I will look back, with a solitary tear of bliss and authorial pride streaking down my cheek, and say, "The man read my blog."
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