Parenting Awards

Can you think of a word to describe a person who has the following thought process:

When Blogs Attack

Man, I love blogging.

But honestly, if there's one thing I love more than blogging, it's when people blog about me and don't even tell me! Especially when somebody challenges me to do something! How unfair is that?

Recently, on his blog, a scientist named Bruno

EPA: "Idling OK in Moderation"

The EPA recently banned vehicles for idling for over three minutes (story here). After reading this story, I couldn’t help but notice the many absurdities surrounding this new regulation.

The EPA openly admits that “Emissions from motor vehicles are the main source of air contaminants in urban areas and have a severe impact on air quality and public health,” yet at the same time is condoning

Idle-Free Taipei

If you are a scooter driver, this is a rare opportunity. With the simple turn of a key, you are not only saving yourself money, but you are also taking a step towards a cleaner Taipei.


The next time you are stopped at a traffic light for more than 15 seconds,

Day 6: A washout

5/30
I think I keep losing focus on my goal for this trip... I was thinking I could stick it out in the rain... I would have missed some great scenery along the way.

The Life

Here's a little video I made, mostly from a first person point of view. It's bits and pieces of a typical week day working in the salt mines. Enjoy!

Free money

How great is it when you put on your coat for the first time since last winter, only to discover you left a $5 bill in it? That's essentially free money. You just got paid to wear that coat.

Having an extremely optimistic attitude towards everything helps grasp this crazy "free money" logic

I never knew...

Even though it rained almost every single day during Chinese New Year, I made a point to get out and try to and explore the north of Taiwan. Prior to this vacation, my view of Taiwan was restricted to the cool, yet polluted city of Taipei, and the smaller, polluted city that I live in. With a scooter, and a fresh spark of energy from some new foreigners, we set out to see more than cement and parks.

First stop: Wulai. About a 1 hour bus ride south of Taipei, deep in the mountains, there is a beautiful aboriginal town, famous for hot springs and a waterfall. There is a cable car going to the top of the waterfall, where there is a huge resort. Although it was a bit far away, the scenery was refreshingly exotic.

Next stop: Keelung. There was an attempt to explore the NE coast of Taiwan, but pouring rain stopped that, so we settled for some of the best seafood in Taiwan in downtown Keelung near the harbor on the Northeast.

Next stop: Pingxi. Another small place deep within the mountains, yet a very short distance from Taipei City. Pingxi is where the Lantern Festival is, where people write their wishes for the New Year on a lantern and set it adrift. Again, the rain put a damper on a lot potential exploring.

Next stop: Wanli. More specifically, Yehliu Geopark. Wind, rain, and ocean waves can do some serious damage over time in terms of erosion, and we saw some of the crazy rock shapes that have been in the works for a long time (like "the Queen Head"). Another place I would have enjoyed more had it not been freezing and pouring, but a trip to the steaming Xinbeitou hot springs took care of potential frostbite.

Final stop: a mountain trip through Shijr on my trusty scooter. As crappy as I sometimes make where I live sound, a 15 minute scooter ride in any direction (except towards Taipei) brings you to a beautiful mountain road where you can give your lungs a bath and forget what apartment buildings look like. On the only decent day of the whole vacation, I had coffee on a peak with a 360 view of the mountain ranges of northern Taiwan.



Basically, rain sucks and Taiwan is a cool place, given the appropriate weather and transportation.

Traffic Weaving 101

What you're looking at is a 2002 Suzuki 125cc Star scooter, but more specifically, my 2002 Suzuki 125cc Star scooter.

I bought it with high hopes that this beast will open many a door for adventures around Taiwan. Taiwan's superb public transportation has gotten me around everywhere before this, but lately I've been finding myself either in cabs more, or on my couch more, just so that I don't have to guess when the next bus or train comes, or stand up hanging onto the hand strap as I'm being thrown in all directions.

Being the first gas powered vehicle I've ever owned with less than 4 wheels, it's taken quite a bit of getting used to. However, I got a pretty good feel for the acceleration, brakes, and general handling on my trip home from the purchase. Instead of coming directly home, I drove around for about 2 hours. If you must know, the reason it took 2 hours was because I was hopelessly lost, zipping around aimlessly through dense traffic in Taipei City hoping to see something I recognize.

FYI, traffic drives on the right side of the road, so I don't have to do everything backwards, and for scooters I have to do New Jersey-esque left turns at big intersections (except you just go into the little box on the adjacent side of the road). Like so...



more scooter adventures to come...

A new man

Maybe not a new man, but certain adaptations need to be made. Here are...

5 things I do in Taiwan that I never do in New York:

1. Sing- I now have 4 different classes that I teach every week and they use 4 different text books. However, every unit in all the books includes a song, and well, it's not going to teach itself.
2. Dance- I'm often told by my superiors that the kids will only show me 30% of what I show them. So if I dance like a maniac, maybe they will dance normally. See previous post.
3. Go clubbin'- As far as Friday and Saturday nights go, this is about the only thing for a foreigner to do in Taiwan. Rap, techno, and expensive cocktails are not my scene at all, but Taipei has loads of them and it's the best way to meet people that speak English.
4. Carry an umbrella- I honestly can't picture anyone I know from home that carries an umbrella. Living in the rainy valley of She-jersey, I've come to realize that umbrellas are a practical accessory. I own two.
5. Drive a scooter- I haven't actually bought one yet, but I will. They're cheap, small, efficient, and in Taiwan everybody has one so you don't risk the social embarrassment that would happen if you drove one in New York. I can probably tack "ride on the back of another grown man's scooter" on to this.
   

Of these five things, I think I will only continue to carry an umbrella when I go back to New York.

Q and A: Part 4.5

Q: Do they need a license to drive? How old do they have to be?

A: According to the law, a license is required to operate a motor vehicle in Taiwan. That's about as far as I know the rules. I do know of foreigners that have been motor vehicle operators for awhile without licenses, and it's not hard to see how they pull it off.

I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but the amount of scooters in this country is astounding. It would be impossible to have random check-points for licenses, registration, or to look for anything to enforce any laws. It doesn't seem possible to even be able to scan a cluster of scooters for a certain license plate number. And, as previously mentioned, scooters have their own set of laws that allow them to disappear into even the most dense of traffic.

An interesting (and fool-proof, if I might add) idea for an Asian guy:

Rob a bank and have a get-away scooter. No ski-mask needed. What's going to come over the police radio?

"Stay on the lookout for an Asian male, appears to be between the age of 20 and 50. Around 5' 6". Short, straight black hair, dark eyes and driving a black and gray scooter, license plate ##x##x."

It's too bad the people in this country are so damn nice, otherwise I'd recruit somebody and split the NT dollars.

Q and A: Part 4

Here is the latest installment of Q&A, keep the questions coming if you have any.

Q: Are there squirrels? If not, what animals do people typically swerve their car for while driving? Are there scary spiders?

A: For starters, yes, there are scary spiders. Last weekend I adventured up the mountain in Shijr and saw some spiders bigger than my open hand (and cried). And yes, there are indeed squirrels. Each class at my school has an animal name (Hamsters, Koalas, Rabbits, and of course Mike's class: the Unicorns), and my class, the Squirrels. So yeah, there are 21 of them. Besides that, I've seen some real squirrels. However, beyond stupid tiny white dogs with pink ears, stray dogs, stray cats, and cockroaches, animals are hard to come by in a city. Especially on a road, but don't let that fact fool you into thinking people don't swerve while driving.

Traffic laws here are less like laws, and more like guidelines. The lines on the roads are merely indications that at one point they had planned to have some type of organization. Enter: the scooter. A vehicle, that if it follows any laws at all, they are a hybrid of pedestrian, bicycle, and motor vehicle laws, while still taking many of the same liberties granted to an emergency vehicle. The scooter has access to roads, crosswalks, and sidewalks alike, and the scooter operator will not be tied down by a few painted lines on the road. Scooters in traffic are like water, always finding an opening to get through.

Having driven a scooter for a somewhat lengthy distance (more on that later, maybe), I have experienced the mayhem of Taiwan traffic first-hand, and it was has been by far the most terrifying adventure since I've been here.

Almost Famous

...or "The Time I Almost Lost a Kidney"

Last weekend I went into Taipei City for the night. I started off at a New Zealand burger joint and ended up at a South African bar/meat pie store. Meeting up with Mike, my Canadian roommate, and B, my South African roommate, and Fred, my Taiwanese friend, we were a melting pot with no assimilation required. After a few TBs (Taiwan Beer) and a couple brandy and cokes, the four of us, plus a peculiar collection of South Africans, were talking like old friends about everything: the joys of teaching, how great Taiwan is, the dangers of smoking, and Chinese birth chart compatibility. However, it soon became time to go to Shilin night market.

It's really hard to do justice to the Shilin night market through description; it's more of an atmosphere you have to breathe and take in. In between two MRT stops, there are hundreds of food stalls, clothing shops on wheels, knick knackerys, carnival games, and so on, all crammed together. They've got belts, and sneakers, and trucker hats galore. Fried chicken, rice noodles, chicken feet and more! It is a culture explosion, contained in a relatively small portion of the city, with a nightly attendance of thousands. As the night progresses, it gets harder and harder to walk through the densely packed alleys. Even if only for a late night snack, the buzz at Shilin night market is worth the trip.

So here we are, Mike, B, a guy Shaun, and I, weaving our way through the crowd. All of a sudden a young man stopped us. "Hey have you guys ever done any commercial acting before?" With a party of four, we defeated the odds- none of us had. "Well I'm actually a casting agent and I'm looking for a white male, kind of sporty with blue eyes to do a bubble gum commercial." I looked around. I had the only blue eyes for miles.
"I'm white!" I exclaimed. "I like sports, too! And I have blue eyes!"
"Yeah, thats great. They are casting tomorrow near SYS Memorial MRT station between 2-5. Take my card, call my phone when you want to go so I can make sure I'm there."

One taxi ride, a few hours of sleep, a headache, and a shower later... Should I call this guy? Eh, why not? Inspired by Josambro, Dave and I have sort of a competition to see who can get famous in Taiwan first. To my understanding, this commercial was for television, so I would be everywhere. So I called. "They're going to do a quick photo shoot, and maybe have you say a few lines while pretending to ride a bike or surf or something."

I got off the MRT and was picked up by a scooter. Being the passenger on a scooter is a very intimate experience. We zipped around town, and when we pulled down a not-so-public street, I started to get worried. I value my kidneys. I entered a small office and was directed to a room with two giant lights pointed at a blank wall. I stood in the spotlights and posed, turned around slowly, and gave a brief introduction. The camera's shutter snapped furiously. I started observing weird things, like how many exits there were and what could potentially be used as a weapon. I couldn't remember if they offered me anything to drink...

The whole operation only lasted about 5 minutes and I was awake for the whole thing (the photo shoot). I was scootered back to the MRT and told that they'd get back to me by Wednesday. Turns out I didn't get the part, "the director changed the requirements for the character." I'd sure like to meet this whiter, sportier, more blue-eyed chump who happens to be in Taiwan.

Chicken Feet

The past few days have been pretty relaxed, as Dave and I are still getting adjusted to this new environment. We've figured out the subway system, seen some different parts of the city, and have been introduced to some good eats. All this, of course, is thanks to Uncle Fred. Even though we would have came to Taiwan if Fred wasn't here, it's extremely hard to imagine how we would be coping with the language barrier without him. Aside from being our tour guide, he also helped us with our hotel accommodations and has acted as an ice breaker in the couple of schools that we went to. Dave and I are infinitely grateful to have him helping us. Although, he was the one responsible for me ingesting a chicken foot (which is not a type of food that one would look at and seriously say, "Hm, I wonder what that is...").

So far the worst thing is that sleep has been off and on for me. I've been waking up at around 4:00 or 5:00 AM, which is not a pleasant experience. I lay in darkness and silence, sometimes putting my headphones on and pray that the sleep mix I've heard a thousand times will lull me back to sleep. No such luck.

Here's a little bit of what I've seen so far:

Our lovely temporary home. Sometimes I try to talk to the receptionist in Chinese. She laughs. Free Taiwanese breakfast buffet is great.

The Mall. It's big. There's another one of these across the street.


A microcosm of the scooter population in Taipei.


7-Eleven. There might be a 7-Eleven for every scooter in Taipei (I'm actually standing outside of one while taking this picture (not a joke).).


Stores and scooters.

For more insight, entertainment, pictures, and an alternate view, check out what Dave's up to.
Also, get your vaccinations (or don't). Yellow fever is spreading through New Paltz.
Hopefully more stories and a consistent sleep cycle on the way.