I never knew...

Even though it rained almost every single day during Chinese New Year, I made a point to get out and try to and explore the north of Taiwan. Prior to this vacation, my view of Taiwan was restricted to the cool, yet polluted city of Taipei, and the smaller, polluted city that I live in. With a scooter, and a fresh spark of energy from some new foreigners, we set out to see more than cement and parks.

First stop: Wulai. About a 1 hour bus ride south of Taipei, deep in the mountains, there is a beautiful aboriginal town, famous for hot springs and a waterfall. There is a cable car going to the top of the waterfall, where there is a huge resort. Although it was a bit far away, the scenery was refreshingly exotic.

Next stop: Keelung. There was an attempt to explore the NE coast of Taiwan, but pouring rain stopped that, so we settled for some of the best seafood in Taiwan in downtown Keelung near the harbor on the Northeast.

Next stop: Pingxi. Another small place deep within the mountains, yet a very short distance from Taipei City. Pingxi is where the Lantern Festival is, where people write their wishes for the New Year on a lantern and set it adrift. Again, the rain put a damper on a lot potential exploring.

Next stop: Wanli. More specifically, Yehliu Geopark. Wind, rain, and ocean waves can do some serious damage over time in terms of erosion, and we saw some of the crazy rock shapes that have been in the works for a long time (like "the Queen Head"). Another place I would have enjoyed more had it not been freezing and pouring, but a trip to the steaming Xinbeitou hot springs took care of potential frostbite.

Final stop: a mountain trip through Shijr on my trusty scooter. As crappy as I sometimes make where I live sound, a 15 minute scooter ride in any direction (except towards Taipei) brings you to a beautiful mountain road where you can give your lungs a bath and forget what apartment buildings look like. On the only decent day of the whole vacation, I had coffee on a peak with a 360 view of the mountain ranges of northern Taiwan.



Basically, rain sucks and Taiwan is a cool place, given the appropriate weather and transportation.

Chinese New Year

My week off, in pictures (click for a better view):

[more pictures from Yehliu Geopark]



.

Is there a Dr. in the house?

It's been more than 8 months since I've had a Dr. Pepper, the delicious beverage which has been the single item that I miss the most from home.

Taiwan has a lot of great things, unique to the country, but also a lot of things that are imported or otherwise distributed globally. But even in Costco, the mecca for imported/western food, there isn't a Dr. Pepper to be found. Since I've been in Taiwan, I've searched and read comment threads on the internet regarding the subject. For too long I've been yearning for the 23 flavors of the drink I once dubbed as "the new water."

A few weeks ago, Forrest Gump was on TV, and after watching him drink 15 Dr. Peppers at the White House, I took my craving to my Facebook status ("Johnny Fleckenstein would do unspeakable things for a Dr. Pepper"). To my astonishment, I had two people reply that they actually had cans of DP in Taiwan. Not long after that, I heard that a teacher at my school returned from Guam with a few cans! With so much evidence of it actually being in the country, I had my heart set on the fact that I was finally going to get my hands on some!

I did some research and talked to a few people and found out where the end of the rainbow was: Jake's Country Kitchen in Tianmu, which is north of Taipei City, and a solid hour of travel time no matter what transportation you use. Of course, I just recently purchased a scooter so I decided to log a few more miles and make the trek.

On Thursday afternoon, I took to the streets of Taipei in the middle of rush hour, practically eating my way through the pollution. The entire way I had a nervous feeling, as if I was on my way to ask the hottest girl in school to prom. What do I say? Do I cut right to the chase? For the entire 1 hour and 10 minute trip, I replayed different scenarios in my head, sometimes drinking it very fast, sometimes taking small sips to savor it, and fantasizing about buying a case and stocking up.

When I finally arrived in Tianmu, I parked my scooter, took one last look in my small side-view mirrors and stepped into Jake's.

"Do you want eat here or take out?"
"Um... uh. Well... I heard you have Dr. Pepper."
"No Dr. Pepper."
"What? Why?"
"We sold out."

I still have a bruise on my chin from when my jaw hit the floor as I stared at the drink menu and saw where Dr. Pepper had been crossed out. Feelings of rejection, defeat, depression, and shock took over my body as I sat down. Not wanting to leave empty handed after such a long journey, I settled for a bacon cheeseburger and a lousy Coke.

When I left, I asked when they were going to get Dr. Pepper again.

"Never. No more."

Those words, spoken like daggers going into my soul, haunt my dreams every night. And so the quest continues...

The Fountain of Youth

Well, I finally discovered why Asians age so well. Fortunately, it's not the squid, the stinky tofu, or the chicken feet. There's a simple practice that we can all take part in to make ourselves look younger: Lying.

After a lengthy conversation with my co-teacher about age recognition in Chinese culture, I found out that although I am actually only 23 years old, in Chinese years I am going to be 24 this Chinese New Year.

Years, as we know them, are based on the solar calendar, giving us 365 days. Contrary to the system used by the rest of the world, the Chinese use a lunar system, so the "years" aren't ever the same length. (Even on official documents at banks they use the lunar years. It is currently the year 98, marking the 98th year since the founding of the Republic of China.) Chinese New Year usually falls between January 20 and February 20.

The Year of the Tiger

Back to the age thing... it's to my understanding (making this not very credible at all) that everybody gets a year older at the start of the new lunar year. For example, my 24th birthday falls during this upcoming lunar year, so for this entire lunar year (Feb.-Feb.), I will be 24. In my situation, for 10 months I would be saying I'm older than I am according to the solar calendar. Tricky, right?

Some of the very traditional Chinese are also convinced that you are 1 year old when you are born, which is just a false idea. Using that, err... logic, when I was born (December), I was 1 year old already, and the following Jan/Feb, I turned 2 on Chinese New Year.

So at the ripe age of 2 months, I could actually have claimed to have been 2 years old. If I knew then what I know now...

To add to the confusion, some of the really traditional folks skip the age of 4, because the number 4 is bad luck in Chinese culture (the word for "four" sounds almost exactly the same as the word for "death"). I guess this is on par with buildings that "don't have" a 13th floor?

So there are students at school that claim to be 6, but how can I believe that? Add 1 for the time spent in the womb, add 1 for Chinese New Year, and that one that you might have skipped because it was bad luck, this 6-year-old is only 3 if he's anywhere but Asia.

Don't feel bad if you are confused, I feel your pain. Just know that this February 14th is not only Valentine's Day, but it is also Chinese New Year and we are ringing in the 99th Year of the Republic by relaxing for a government mandated one week!

Traffic Weaving 101

What you're looking at is a 2002 Suzuki 125cc Star scooter, but more specifically, my 2002 Suzuki 125cc Star scooter.

I bought it with high hopes that this beast will open many a door for adventures around Taiwan. Taiwan's superb public transportation has gotten me around everywhere before this, but lately I've been finding myself either in cabs more, or on my couch more, just so that I don't have to guess when the next bus or train comes, or stand up hanging onto the hand strap as I'm being thrown in all directions.

Being the first gas powered vehicle I've ever owned with less than 4 wheels, it's taken quite a bit of getting used to. However, I got a pretty good feel for the acceleration, brakes, and general handling on my trip home from the purchase. Instead of coming directly home, I drove around for about 2 hours. If you must know, the reason it took 2 hours was because I was hopelessly lost, zipping around aimlessly through dense traffic in Taipei City hoping to see something I recognize.

FYI, traffic drives on the right side of the road, so I don't have to do everything backwards, and for scooters I have to do New Jersey-esque left turns at big intersections (except you just go into the little box on the adjacent side of the road). Like so...



more scooter adventures to come...

Korea-mania

What is it with Korean pop groups these days? Since I've been here, there have now been two different Korean groups (with a total of 18 singers) to have somehow taken Taiwan by storm. Even though Ja Rule is performing live and Lady Gaga is coming through the night club speakers every other song, Super Junior and Wonder Girls have conquered the hearts of mainstream music and ring tones in Taiwan.

It's for damn sure that you can't go a full day without hearing, if only by indirect reference, of either group's hit single.

So what do you get when you add the Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, and 98 Degrees together, then mix in some Asian?

If you answered "A 13-person Korean boy band called 'Super Junior'," then contact me for your prize. Actually, you'd be hard pressed to find anybody on this island who hasn't heard of Super Junior, or at least their mega-hit, "Sorry Sorry." I'm pretty sure the only English lyrics in the the song are "sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry......... shorty shorty shorty shorty," but it's so catchy that you can't hate it no matter how much its played out. At my school, every kid from age 3-13 knows the signature "Sorry Sorry" dance move of rubbing the hands together, and every apology is followed by another, and another. And yeah, it was a morning warm up song, so I know a dance routine for the whole thing. Jealous?

Check it:


The more recent pop song tidal wave to drown Taiwan is "Nobody," by the Wonder Girls. They are also Korean, but have 8 less in their entourage. The impact of "Nobody" became very evident when I saw a kindergarten student of about 2 and a half feet singing and doing the dance to this song. Adorable. Much like "Sorry Sorry," the Wonder Girls' hit is something that I'd love to hate, but mostly I can't help but get a kick out of how awesome everybody thinks it is.

Check it:



What do you think?

A walk in the park

Outside smoggy Taipei, there are some pretty pleasant parks...

Check out my pictures from Bihu Park and Dahu Park.

A new man

Maybe not a new man, but certain adaptations need to be made. Here are...

5 things I do in Taiwan that I never do in New York:

1. Sing- I now have 4 different classes that I teach every week and they use 4 different text books. However, every unit in all the books includes a song, and well, it's not going to teach itself.
2. Dance- I'm often told by my superiors that the kids will only show me 30% of what I show them. So if I dance like a maniac, maybe they will dance normally. See previous post.
3. Go clubbin'- As far as Friday and Saturday nights go, this is about the only thing for a foreigner to do in Taiwan. Rap, techno, and expensive cocktails are not my scene at all, but Taipei has loads of them and it's the best way to meet people that speak English.
4. Carry an umbrella- I honestly can't picture anyone I know from home that carries an umbrella. Living in the rainy valley of She-jersey, I've come to realize that umbrellas are a practical accessory. I own two.
5. Drive a scooter- I haven't actually bought one yet, but I will. They're cheap, small, efficient, and in Taiwan everybody has one so you don't risk the social embarrassment that would happen if you drove one in New York. I can probably tack "ride on the back of another grown man's scooter" on to this.
   

Of these five things, I think I will only continue to carry an umbrella when I go back to New York.

Morning Glory

"A case of the Mondays" can be defined as this: You wake up on a Monday feeling tired and cranky, and have to drag yourself to work or school, bitterly staring down another five days before the weekend, treating each task and each person as if they personally came and handed you another set of weekdays.

Unfortunately in my line of work, coming down with a case of the Mondays will not guarantee you very much job security. I wake up extra early so that by the time I get to school, I'm not resenting every moment that my eyes are not closed. Once I've arrived at school, I can get ready for this...

Each week we follow a (somewhat) structured rotation of the foreign teachers for who will lead the entire kindergarten in Morning Warm-Ups for the week. A sell-out crowd can be around 100 students, ranging from age 3 to age 7.


Assignment #1: Exercise (led by foreign teacher)
Duration: 5 minutes
Foreign teacher leads the kindergarten in a series of stretching, short cardio activites, and general mind and body stimulation to get blood flowing through the small bodies of the kids (and teachers). Can include Star Jumps (aka jumping jacks), running in place, touching of the toes, Iroquois Twists.

Assignment #2: Dance (led by Chinese teacher)
Duration: 5-10 minutes
Each week a Chinese teacher teaches a new song, complete with dance moves and phrases to act as cues to remember each dance move, i.e. "give me money," "so happy," "show me cute." Following the new song, we also dance one song from a previous week. Classes with the most power* are invited to the stage to dance with the Chinese teacher. Can include Barbie Girl, Sorry Sorry, and the Ninja Song.

Assignment #3(Mondays only): Life Lesson (led by Foreign teacher)
Duration: 5-10 minutes
The foreign teacher needs to organize a short role-play with a clear moral/rule the students can remember, relate to, and follow. To help with the role-play, the other foreign teachers can and will be asked to do improv acting. The moral should come in the form of a short, easy sentence that can be repeated over and over again. Can include "Be patient, please," "Happy Thanksgiving," "Throw the trash into the trash can," "Don't be lazy."

Assignment #4(Tues., Wed., Thurs.): Performance (foreign teacher's class)
Duration: 5-10 minutes
The foreign teacher who is leading exercise and Life Lesson also needs to show everyone what their class has been working on. In each class' syllabus, we have 5 role-plays which need to be taught and acted out. These are typically shown during morning warm-up weeks.



[If you haven't already clicked on all of the links I've included, they will take you to my school's YouTube account. Here you can find just about every significant thing that happens at my school, from Halloween, to Christmas, the Life Lesson from EVERY week, or even the Squirrels' International Day presentation and dance!]

*power: a combination of attentiveness, volume, and enthusiasm.

Where's the cream filling?

Sorry to spoil it, but this post is not about those funny Hostess commercials.

This past weekend, my school had it's annual staff dinner. Much like the lavish hospitality that we experienced in Hualien, we were offered an all-you-can-eat buffet of the finest dishes at the sparkling Splendor Restaurant in Taipei.



A few glasses of wine later, I found myself staring at $500 and a bowl of soup. Sitting proudly in the soup, nestled snug in the noodles, was a single chicken testicle. For those that have never seen one, let alone eaten one, it's actually quite impressive. Taking into consideration size relative to proportion, that cock had plenty of doodle-doo.



To make a long story short, I've never been one to let down a crowd of spectators, or to turn down doing something for money, so I spooned the nut from its burrow in the noodles and braced myself. I had to devise a quick strategy; it was definitely too big to safely swallow whole. I didn't want to end up in the hospital for choking on... well, never mind. Of course the last thing I wanted to do was bite it, but I made up my mind that one swift bite through the center would be the most efficient way to get it down.

Trying my best to think happy thoughts, I slid it into my mouth and followed the plan. Only, I didn't know exactly what to expect. My teeth severed the testicle in half, allowing for its grainy, mushy insides to fill my mouth. While the taste really wasn't so bad, the texture did nothing to stop me from gagging slightly before it disappeared in a quick gulp.

More wine and all-you-can-eat Haagen Dazs was enough to remove the oily aftertaste from my mouth, but nothing will ever change the fact that I ate a testicle.

Bills

Me: Hey did you see that notice on our door?
Mike: Yeah, any idea what it's for?
Me: Nope, you?
Mike: No, but I guess we'll find out when they turn it off.



Oh yeah... remember that ice cream/squid combo?

Bittersweet

Lulu: Teacher John, my brother doesn't even know past tense yet.
Teacher John: Really??
Lulu: He asked me to help him with his homework.

Lulu is a 6-year-old Squirrel. Sweet.

Her brother, Yo-yo, is 10, and he's in the Friday evening class I recently took over. Bitter.

The highest I've ever been

As usual, I leave things to the last minute.

On January 2, it was brought to my attention that on January 4, 2010, there would be a new tallest building in the world. Since 2004, Taipei 101's grandiosity has been at the top of the list.*

Since last March, I've been living in the shadow of Taipei 101, eating Subway at its basement food court, buying books at its bookstore, and looking at it from my balcony everyday, but I've never gone the vertical distance and looked over Taipei City from its observatory 1,285 ft. above the ground. Going to the top is something that I deemed "I'll do before I leave," which meant I didn't have to do it until I had plans to leave.

But now, practically visible over the horizon from Taipei 101 itself, Burj Dubai has crept up and is poised to take Taiwan's claim to fame right out from under it. With less than 48 hours to take advantage of the fact that I live only a train ride from the tallest building in the world, I was overcome with a sense of urgency. Must...go...up....

Unfortunately, I was alone in my principles. After a few phone calls, I realized that everyone I know has either been up it already or just doesn't care as much as I do.** That didn't stop me though, because I don't see myself traveling to United Arab Emirates to see the tallest building in the world. My desire to go up 101 was purely for ceremony and not for the view (as proven by my pictures). So alone I went, and faster than I can count to 89 in Chinese, I was on the 89th floor.

I spent a surprisingly long time in 101, despite the Perma-fog that blankets Taiwan. And although I couldn't see very far, I did see the spot on the street that I watched the New Years fireworks from! I basked in the glory of the building and stared into the mist from the Outdoor Observatory on the 91st floor until I saw a patch of blue sky and what appeared to be the sun. Then, at nearly free-falling velocity, I took the elevator back down, bought a book, ate Subway, went home and stepped out onto my balcony to look at the lame-duck tallest building in the world, one last time.

It was a good run, Taipei 101.



*Please do not bother me with your BS definition of "tallest building." I don't make the rules, I just read them and follow them.

**I was pumped to go to 101, and every phone call I made was met with negativity. My favorite was people arguing that it's not even the tallest building. Obviously Burj Dubai is taller already (and has been for a few months), but it doesn't open for business until Jan. 4, and therefore does not claim "tallest building" status yet. And whatever needles, antennas, towers, etc. that might be closer to space than 101, I'm not really concerned with. What I will go by is whatever the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitats has to say.

Happy New Year!

I know you're all jealous that by the time the ball dropped in NYC, 2009 was already a distant memory for me.

Speaking of jealousy, I bet you were panicked wondering where Ja Rule was on New Years. Don't worry, he was in Taipei performing at a club. And while I'm sure the fireworks you saw weren't shooting off of the shortest building in the world, they most certainly weren't off the tallest. Finally, just to make sure you are green with envy, did you and 20 other people rent out a private karaoke room at 4:00 in the morning? I'll take that silence as a "no."

Anyway... Happy New Year's everybody!!

Resolutions:
- take more pictures
- do more things that I can take pictures of
- swim more
- learn more Chinese
- call home more

So this is Christmas...

Post-Christmas thought: What just happened?

In surreal, dream-sequence fashion, Christmas came and left, just as all of the other days here. All around Taipei, there were Christmas decorations, but everything felt so disconnected. 7-Eleven was playing Christmas music, but the atmosphere was still lacking in the Christmas "spirit." It felt, and was, just a commercial holiday implanted somewhere it doesn't belong.

For starters, Christmas fell on Marathon Friday this year. Which means I worked from 8:30-3:30, 4:00-5:00, and then a quick 5:00-7:00 to finish off the day.

When I woke up Christmas morning, everything just felt wrong. There was no tree, no family, no excitement. As I walked to school, I noticed that nothing was different outside. It was as if everybody else forgot it was Christmas. The confusion and resentment was starting to build up as I walked into school humming "Blue Christmas."

The confusion didn't subside when I saw all of the students. They were dressed up in costume. Thinking I somehow entered a terrible nightmare, I said "good morning" to students that looked like bees, dinosaurs, princesses, and cowboys. My body went through the routine motions, just like everyday, but my head was spinning. Was it Halloween or Christmas?

Although it was pretty much an assassination of the holiday, it had its cute moments. Each class screamed a Christmas song, everybody got to sit on Santa's lap, and we just colored and played the whole day. Amidst the carnage, there was a five minute period where I felt Christmasy: when the kids opened their presents they screamed and jumped up and down like... well, like a kid on Christmas.

Unfortunately that wasn't enough Christmas cheer to keep my spirits up for the next 7 hours of work. I'm glad I don't have to do that everyday.

Wayne's World

To get ready to sing our Christmas song on Friday, I had some kids compete to see who could sing the last bit of "The 12 Days of Christmas" the fastest.

The winner: Wayne! (any challengers?)



-*PICTURE UPDATES*-

That was a doozy!

On December 19, 2008, I said to Dave, “Dave, convince me to go to Taiwan with you.” And he did.

This year on December 19, I was talking to Dave on Skype and he said, "Holy shit, there's an earthquake!" And he was right.

On the anniversary of our college commencement, Taiwan was jostled to the tune of a 6.4 magnitude earthquake. Yikes.

That's two years in a row I've felt like the world was spinning.

Kids say the darndest things

Ariel(yes, just like the Little Mermaid): Teacher John, yesterday my mother talked to Santa Clause on the telephone.
Teacher John: Oh yeah? What did she say?
Ariel: I don't know! My mother's English is very bad!

Nevermind

I hereby take back everything I said in this post. Those turned out to be isolated incidents, which have not been at all consistent with anything that's happened since then.

My bad.

A Heart and Two Leaves: Part 2

Time to try the tea we learned how to harvest!

The mountain in Muzha is covered with dozens of tea houses that harvest and make their own tea. The hillside plantations are most famous for Tieguanyin and Baozhong tea, so there was no way we could hop back into our trusty cab and roll back to Taipei without trying it. After a small sample of Tieguanyin at the Promotion Center, our tour guide sent us in the direction of Yao Yue Teahouse.

At this very famous 24-hour tea joint, Mike, Terri, Brian, and I were seated on a porch overlooking the mountains. Although at a brisk temperature of somewhere around 60 Fahrenheit, the atmosphere was quite serene. Due to the chilly weather, we were one of the only groups at the restaurant. Craving Taiwanese tea to warm ourselves up, we took our server's recommendation and ordered the Baozhong tea.

To clear up any misconceptions, Baozhong is not a Snapple flavor, and isn't exactly prepared like a Lipton tea-bag. At Yao Yue Teahouse, I learned a life skill that forever changed what used to be a simple process: the art of making tea.

After we watched the waiter prepare the first cup for us, he left us to fend for ourselves if we wanted anymore. For those of you taking notes, let's first start with the required materials: A tea leaf getter-outer, a tea leaf getter-outer basket, an earthenware waste bowl, an earthenware teapot (with lid), a small earthenware pitcher, a funnel filter, a smelling thimble, a tea cup, a run-off tray, boiling water, and of course, tea leaves.

Okay, so first you take the tea leaf getter-outer and put the tea leaves in the earthenware teapot (with lid), and overfill the teapot with boiling water so it spills over onto the run-off tray, then you pour the contents into each smelling thimble and tea cup, then discard everything into the waste bowl (it is essential to first warm all of the cups), then refill the earthenware teapot (with lid) with the boiling water, let steep for 50 seconds, then pour, in a swirling motion, into the funnel filter, which is in the small earthenware pitcher, then fill each smelling thimble with tea, and place a teacup upside-down over the smelling thimble, then swiftly turn it upside-down and lift the smelling thimble out of the teacup. Smell the smelling thimble. Drink the tea. Repeat up to 3 times for each batch of tea leaves.

Got it?

Along with enjoying some thin noodles in tea oil, and sweet potato leaves, we each took turns performing the tea-making ritual, making sure that nobody skipped a step or steeped for too long. Although each time we only got about a sip of tea, they were the most finely prepared and most sophisticated sips of tea I've ever had.

"Are you going to tell your buddies from home about this, John?" Terri asked, as I sipped my tea with my pinkie out. I guess so.

Practical? No.
Traditional? Yes.
Worth the effort? Probably not.
Would I do it again? Absolutely.
Even if I had to do the dishes? Not a chance.