Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning is a steep price to pay to see the beautiful, partially secluded, east coast of Taiwan. But, as it turns out, it was the only price I had to pay.
Once a year, my boss and her husband sponsor an overnight staff trip to somewhere in Taiwan. This year, it was to Farglory Ocean Park and the luxurious Farglory Hotel (really check this place out) in Hualien. Most known for Taroko Gorge, Hualien County is located in the middle of Taiwan along the Pacific Coast. A few hours on a train gave me the opportunity to see the coastline, which has mountains jutting out of it only a few hundred years inland.
It was a gorgeous weekend for a trip through Taiwan, although it was slightly on the warmer side. We trekked down from Taipei County via train, hypnotically staring out the window at miles and miles of ocean. Once in Hualien, we boarded a bus, which I'd like to mention (although it should go without saying) was fully equipped with karaoke microphones every few rows. The bus rolled onwards until we reached the gate to the hotel, only a stone's throw from the crashing waves of the ocean. We spent the next 10 minutes climbing the driveway, which had about ten switchbacks to alleviate the incline up a decent sized mountain. At the top, the view was dizzying. On one side of the hotel there was nothing but Pacific blue as far as the eye could see. And on the other side, an enormous valley of rivers and towns surrounded by majestic mountain ranges.
Once at the hotel, we dropped off our bags, received our room assignments, and hopped back on the bus. We meandered our way back down the mountain to Farglory Ocean Park, which happens to be about half-way down the driveway. Ocean Park is like a miniature SeaWorld and Six Flags hybrid. There was a dolphin show, a seal show and plenty of low-speed, yet highly thematic rides to keep a child entertained for a day.
We broke off into smaller groups, where I and a few of my other male colleagues putzed around for awhile trying to entertain ourselves for a few hours. We had about 2 hours until we could actually check into our rooms, and at this point, every minute spent outside was another minute closer to going from rare to medium-rare.
Trudging along from ride to ride in the scorching heat and saturating humidity, only one thought kept us alive. A detail that would give the trip an identity: The hotel has a swim-up bar.
Once we got back to the hotel, it was board shorts, bathing caps, and Coronas in the pool for the rest of the afternoon. Miles away from ordinary.
The rest of the trip included an extravagant buffet dinner, where I actually had a second helping of snail (and dozens of other delicacies). After dinner, it was back to the pool bar, and later the karaoke bar. The Taiwanese take their karaoke very seriously, so you actually have to pay to sing, to the point of renting private rooms for small groups. Refusing to pay, but not depriving the alcohol-induced urge to sing, we arranged with the bartender to let a small group of us perform an a cappella rendition of "Too Good to be True" for the six other people in the bar.
The night did not stop there, but the rest of the details are about as vivid as they are important. To give you a better platform for your imaginations to dive from, keep in mind that we did not bring a change of clothes to the pool, so we spent the night patrolling the hotel in flip flops, bathing suits, sunglasses and bathing caps.
It's like they say: "When in Hualien, do as the Hualienonians do."
photo updates here and on Facebook.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Starter X
(warning: not for the faint of heart)
My days of 8:30-3:30 are over. The Squirrels are no longer my only students. I now know why teachers stress out.
Without getting way too overly hyperbolic and making a gigantic, unnecessary, blown-out-of-proportion exaggeration, I'll try to explain my new class: Starter X.
Let's start with the name. Each buxiban (in which the variable x=sh) class is given a letter name, based only on the order in which they are created. When I was told that I was volunteering to take a new class, I was ecstatic about the name. How badass. I actually find it hard to say "Starter X" aloud without crossing my arms and getting into a crouched position like I'm bracing for an attack.
Anyway.
On the subject of names, I finally got to name some students! They were all quasi-normal, based on my opinion of normal after having encountered a fair amount of people with English names in the past 22 years. That being said, I take no blame (or credit?) for Bernini, York, Gigi, Pola, Soros, or Vivi, who all signed up for my class with English-ish names.
The class, which I already claimed is not for the faint of heart, can only be described in comparison to my Squirrels. I'm very quick to say that the Squirrel class is the envy of the school, yet I'm just as quick to admit that this was true of them before I took over. They speak incredible English, they have impeccable manners, and a sense of awareness and etiquette that is absent in a great deal of the adult population. Hopefully you're getting the idea of the contrast about to come.
Starter X is on average about 2 years older than the Squirrels. However, the Squirrels have 2 more years of classroom experience (2-0=2). Starter X is hardly a few weeks beyond their first footsteps into a real classroom in Chinese elementary school, so they are lacking the basic knowledge of "sit in a chair and watch the adult in front of you for more than 10 seconds at a time." For me, the gap dividing teacher and student, Chinese and English, is bridged by a puppet. Or an over-sized blow-up dice. This gets them to at least try to repeat what I'm saying. And I try not to say much, because "Okay... say 'pencil'" turns into "okaysaypencil."
I come prepared to class with about 1,000 activities so I can keep their attention at all times by either singing, dancing, hitting myself with a puppet, giving them a hammer to hit flash cards with, juggling, clapping... does the word "clown" come to mind?
Starter X is only 2 extra hours a week, but so far, after 3 weeks, I have yet to come out of that class without sweat on my brow, a hoarse voice and a finger on the trigger. It's a really awesome experience, since this is exactly what I thought I'd be doing over here. Not that I have a problem with how 30 minutes before I step into X-Class I'm listening to my 6-year-old girls explain to me that "A sea turtle's habitat is the ocean and not a pond because they need salt-water to live and will die in fresh water."
My days of 8:30-3:30 are over. The Squirrels are no longer my only students. I now know why teachers stress out.
Without getting way too overly hyperbolic and making a gigantic, unnecessary, blown-out-of-proportion exaggeration, I'll try to explain my new class: Starter X.
Let's start with the name. Each buxiban (in which the variable x=sh) class is given a letter name, based only on the order in which they are created. When I was told that I was volunteering to take a new class, I was ecstatic about the name. How badass. I actually find it hard to say "Starter X" aloud without crossing my arms and getting into a crouched position like I'm bracing for an attack.
Anyway.
On the subject of names, I finally got to name some students! They were all quasi-normal, based on my opinion of normal after having encountered a fair amount of people with English names in the past 22 years. That being said, I take no blame (or credit?) for Bernini, York, Gigi, Pola, Soros, or Vivi, who all signed up for my class with English-ish names.
The class, which I already claimed is not for the faint of heart, can only be described in comparison to my Squirrels. I'm very quick to say that the Squirrel class is the envy of the school, yet I'm just as quick to admit that this was true of them before I took over. They speak incredible English, they have impeccable manners, and a sense of awareness and etiquette that is absent in a great deal of the adult population. Hopefully you're getting the idea of the contrast about to come.
Starter X is on average about 2 years older than the Squirrels. However, the Squirrels have 2 more years of classroom experience (2-0=2). Starter X is hardly a few weeks beyond their first footsteps into a real classroom in Chinese elementary school, so they are lacking the basic knowledge of "sit in a chair and watch the adult in front of you for more than 10 seconds at a time." For me, the gap dividing teacher and student, Chinese and English, is bridged by a puppet. Or an over-sized blow-up dice. This gets them to at least try to repeat what I'm saying. And I try not to say much, because "Okay... say 'pencil'" turns into "okaysaypencil."
I come prepared to class with about 1,000 activities so I can keep their attention at all times by either singing, dancing, hitting myself with a puppet, giving them a hammer to hit flash cards with, juggling, clapping... does the word "clown" come to mind?
Starter X is only 2 extra hours a week, but so far, after 3 weeks, I have yet to come out of that class without sweat on my brow, a hoarse voice and a finger on the trigger. It's a really awesome experience, since this is exactly what I thought I'd be doing over here. Not that I have a problem with how 30 minutes before I step into X-Class I'm listening to my 6-year-old girls explain to me that "A sea turtle's habitat is the ocean and not a pond because they need salt-water to live and will die in fresh water."
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
H1N1
First SARS, then the tsunami, then Typhoon Morakot, and now H1N1. When will God stop using south-east Asia as his personal punching bag?! The humanity!
At the first sign of the H1N1 virus, the world was in a craze. Until Michael Jackson died. Then we pretended to mourn him. Then Kanye totally burned Taylor Swift at the VMAs and we all were upset with him. So on and so forth, the big wheel keeps on turnin'. Only H1N1, or what was informally and formerly known as "swine flu," has not rolled off the ducks' backs quite yet.
I honestly thought that we, the collective global population, were over H1N1. That is until I began to hear my kids talking about. "If you have H1N1 then you will be dead already." Temperatures are now screened at the front door of the school, and each teacher has been issued a large spray bottle of alcohol hand-wash with instructions to "fire at will." Sure enough, H1N1 has crept its way out of hiding and back into our lives.
These days, H1N1 is a sort of lingering fear. Almost teen thriller-esque, with each person wondering who is going to get it next. And just when I was starting to get used to handfuls people on the subway and students in my class wearing surgeon masks on occasion, maybe to be polite if they have the sniffles, the masks become an accessory rivaling the abundance of watches or pants. Instead of students, I have a class of bandits.
"Hmphllo Teaschr Jshon," I hear through the mask. Before a kid answers I have to motion to my mouth to have them pull their mask down so I know what they are saying. Literally, every kid in one of my classes was wearing a mask one day.
On that note, however, my kindergarten class that has 21 kids enrolled in it, averaged 10 students for all of last week. A kid gets sick and they are doctor sanctioned to take 5 days off from school, probably for both recovery and prevention. My class was apparently a day behind the prevention part.
As a vaccination for H1N1 is hopefully around the corner, the struggle to contain the virus continues. For now, I'm safe, but I've instructed Mike to send out an email/post should I get infected and quarantined.
At the first sign of the H1N1 virus, the world was in a craze. Until Michael Jackson died. Then we pretended to mourn him. Then Kanye totally burned Taylor Swift at the VMAs and we all were upset with him. So on and so forth, the big wheel keeps on turnin'. Only H1N1, or what was informally and formerly known as "swine flu," has not rolled off the ducks' backs quite yet.
I honestly thought that we, the collective global population, were over H1N1. That is until I began to hear my kids talking about. "If you have H1N1 then you will be dead already." Temperatures are now screened at the front door of the school, and each teacher has been issued a large spray bottle of alcohol hand-wash with instructions to "fire at will." Sure enough, H1N1 has crept its way out of hiding and back into our lives.
These days, H1N1 is a sort of lingering fear. Almost teen thriller-esque, with each person wondering who is going to get it next. And just when I was starting to get used to handfuls people on the subway and students in my class wearing surgeon masks on occasion, maybe to be polite if they have the sniffles, the masks become an accessory rivaling the abundance of watches or pants. Instead of students, I have a class of bandits.
"Hmphllo Teaschr Jshon," I hear through the mask. Before a kid answers I have to motion to my mouth to have them pull their mask down so I know what they are saying. Literally, every kid in one of my classes was wearing a mask one day.
On that note, however, my kindergarten class that has 21 kids enrolled in it, averaged 10 students for all of last week. A kid gets sick and they are doctor sanctioned to take 5 days off from school, probably for both recovery and prevention. My class was apparently a day behind the prevention part.
As a vaccination for H1N1 is hopefully around the corner, the struggle to contain the virus continues. For now, I'm safe, but I've instructed Mike to send out an email/post should I get infected and quarantined.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Q and A: Part 4.5
Q: Do they need a license to drive? How old do they have to be?
A: According to the law, a license is required to operate a motor vehicle in Taiwan. That's about as far as I know the rules. I do know of foreigners that have been motor vehicle operators for awhile without licenses, and it's not hard to see how they pull it off.
I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but the amount of scooters in this country is astounding. It would be impossible to have random check-points for licenses, registration, or to look for anything to enforce any laws. It doesn't seem possible to even be able to scan a cluster of scooters for a certain license plate number. And, as previously mentioned, scooters have their own set of laws that allow them to disappear into even the most dense of traffic.
An interesting (and fool-proof, if I might add) idea for an Asian guy:
Rob a bank and have a get-away scooter. No ski-mask needed. What's going to come over the police radio?
"Stay on the lookout for an Asian male, appears to be between the age of 20 and 50. Around 5' 6". Short, straight black hair, dark eyes and driving a black and gray scooter, license plate ##x##x."
It's too bad the people in this country are so damn nice, otherwise I'd recruit somebody and split the NT dollars.
A: According to the law, a license is required to operate a motor vehicle in Taiwan. That's about as far as I know the rules. I do know of foreigners that have been motor vehicle operators for awhile without licenses, and it's not hard to see how they pull it off.
I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but the amount of scooters in this country is astounding. It would be impossible to have random check-points for licenses, registration, or to look for anything to enforce any laws. It doesn't seem possible to even be able to scan a cluster of scooters for a certain license plate number. And, as previously mentioned, scooters have their own set of laws that allow them to disappear into even the most dense of traffic.
An interesting (and fool-proof, if I might add) idea for an Asian guy:
Rob a bank and have a get-away scooter. No ski-mask needed. What's going to come over the police radio?
"Stay on the lookout for an Asian male, appears to be between the age of 20 and 50. Around 5' 6". Short, straight black hair, dark eyes and driving a black and gray scooter, license plate ##x##x."
It's too bad the people in this country are so damn nice, otherwise I'd recruit somebody and split the NT dollars.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Q and A: Part 4
Here is the latest installment of Q&A, keep the questions coming if you have any.
Q: Are there squirrels? If not, what animals do people typically swerve their car for while driving? Are there scary spiders?
A: For starters, yes, there are scary spiders. Last weekend I adventured up the mountain in Shijr and saw some spiders bigger than my open hand (and cried). And yes, there are indeed squirrels. Each class at my school has an animal name (Hamsters, Koalas, Rabbits, and of course Mike's class: the Unicorns), and my class, the Squirrels. So yeah, there are 21 of them. Besides that, I've seen some real squirrels. However, beyond stupid tiny white dogs with pink ears, stray dogs, stray cats, and cockroaches, animals are hard to come by in a city. Especially on a road, but don't let that fact fool you into thinking people don't swerve while driving.
Traffic laws here are less like laws, and more like guidelines. The lines on the roads are merely indications that at one point they had planned to have some type of organization. Enter: the scooter. A vehicle, that if it follows any laws at all, they are a hybrid of pedestrian, bicycle, and motor vehicle laws, while still taking many of the same liberties granted to an emergency vehicle. The scooter has access to roads, crosswalks, and sidewalks alike, and the scooter operator will not be tied down by a few painted lines on the road. Scooters in traffic are like water, always finding an opening to get through.
Having driven a scooter for a somewhat lengthy distance (more on that later, maybe), I have experienced the mayhem of Taiwan traffic first-hand, and it was has been by far the most terrifying adventure since I've been here.
Q: Are there squirrels? If not, what animals do people typically swerve their car for while driving? Are there scary spiders?
A: For starters, yes, there are scary spiders. Last weekend I adventured up the mountain in Shijr and saw some spiders bigger than my open hand (and cried). And yes, there are indeed squirrels. Each class at my school has an animal name (Hamsters, Koalas, Rabbits, and of course Mike's class: the Unicorns), and my class, the Squirrels. So yeah, there are 21 of them. Besides that, I've seen some real squirrels. However, beyond stupid tiny white dogs with pink ears, stray dogs, stray cats, and cockroaches, animals are hard to come by in a city. Especially on a road, but don't let that fact fool you into thinking people don't swerve while driving.
Traffic laws here are less like laws, and more like guidelines. The lines on the roads are merely indications that at one point they had planned to have some type of organization. Enter: the scooter. A vehicle, that if it follows any laws at all, they are a hybrid of pedestrian, bicycle, and motor vehicle laws, while still taking many of the same liberties granted to an emergency vehicle. The scooter has access to roads, crosswalks, and sidewalks alike, and the scooter operator will not be tied down by a few painted lines on the road. Scooters in traffic are like water, always finding an opening to get through.
Having driven a scooter for a somewhat lengthy distance (more on that later, maybe), I have experienced the mayhem of Taiwan traffic first-hand, and it was has been by far the most terrifying adventure since I've been here.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Emily's Greatest Hits
Over the course of the last 5 months or so that I've spent with my class, I pick up pointers from the students themselves on the best way to teach them. A teacher can plan every minute of every lesson and still come up empty when it comes to actually teaching, if they don't know the audience. Of course, I've been on a epic trial-and-error journey with this whole teaching bit, but like I said, the best material comes from the students themselves.
Every two weeks I teach what we call a "Reader," which is usually an 8-page book with a specific phonics point, (i.e. lots of "l" words, "Lucy likes lettuce.") and a repeating grammar pattern. "Lucy likes [lettuce, lasagna, ladybugs, etc.]" I have two weeks to get them to be able to read the whole thing, comprehend the meaning of each word, and also be able to apply the grammar pattern to everyday speech.
The first, and arguably most important, day of this 2 week window is the presentation; introduce the VOC (vocabulary) through an interesting story that uses the grammar pattern and also is stimulating enough for them to remember. Here's where the students come in:
In order to tell a successful story, a teacher needs to be inside the mind of the students. Find out what makes them tick. In my class' case, it's any kind of babies, animals or people, families, and places they know very well, like 7-Eleven. Peppering these ingredients throughout any story is going to increase the retention rate 10-fold. After realizing this, I have a sort of series of stories that I like to tell. We'll call them "Emily's Greatest Hits."
I think we are all aware of the phenomena of teachers having a life outside of school. I can remember trying to wrap my own head around the fact that some of my elementary school teachers have parents, and I'll never forget the moment I told the Squirrels that I have little sister. It pretty much rocked their world and they had a million questions. Now, whenever I tell Emily Stories, I have full and undivided attention.
Amusement Park (rides):
When I was in New York, I went to an amusement park with my little sister, Emily. There were so many rides! We walked around for a little while because we didn't know which ones to go on first. "Let's go on the roller coaster," I suggested. "I don't want too! It's too fast!" Emily said. So we kept walking. "Let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" But no, "It's too high!" Emily said this time. (The cable cars were also too high, bumper cars were too scary) so we eventually just went on the Merry-go-round because it wasn't too fast, wasn't too high, and we got to ride unicorns.
Emily's Day Off (illnesses):
Emily really didn't like to go to school. One day she decided to pretend to be sick. When my mom came in to wake her up for school, Emily said "oooohhhh (holding her stomach)." My mom asked "What's the matter?" to which Emily replied, "I have a stomachache." But my mom is very smart and said, "No you don't! Got to school!" Emily's reaction was scrunched up lips, lowered eyebrows, and hands to the hips with a healthy "Hmph!!" This conversation happened every morning for a week, but substituting headache, cold, fever, sore throat.
Stop By a Pond (pond animals):
When Emily was a baby, I took her to a pond to see all the animals. We saw some ducks and I whispered "Emily, look at the ducks!" and she screamed "WOW! COOL!" and scared them all away. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and pinched the bridge of my nose and said "Emmmmaaaaleeeeeee..." The same thing happened with a beaver, an otter, and some turtles. When we saw some polliwogs, she finally whispered, but she touched the water and they all swam away. Then she saw a frog and pointed it out to me and I said, "WOW!! COOL!" and I scared the frog away.
So, Emily, even though you sound like a problem-child in my stories, my students think you are hysterical and they love you (so do I!).
Every two weeks I teach what we call a "Reader," which is usually an 8-page book with a specific phonics point, (i.e. lots of "l" words, "Lucy likes lettuce.") and a repeating grammar pattern. "Lucy likes [lettuce, lasagna, ladybugs, etc.]" I have two weeks to get them to be able to read the whole thing, comprehend the meaning of each word, and also be able to apply the grammar pattern to everyday speech.
The first, and arguably most important, day of this 2 week window is the presentation; introduce the VOC (vocabulary) through an interesting story that uses the grammar pattern and also is stimulating enough for them to remember. Here's where the students come in:
In order to tell a successful story, a teacher needs to be inside the mind of the students. Find out what makes them tick. In my class' case, it's any kind of babies, animals or people, families, and places they know very well, like 7-Eleven. Peppering these ingredients throughout any story is going to increase the retention rate 10-fold. After realizing this, I have a sort of series of stories that I like to tell. We'll call them "Emily's Greatest Hits."
I think we are all aware of the phenomena of teachers having a life outside of school. I can remember trying to wrap my own head around the fact that some of my elementary school teachers have parents, and I'll never forget the moment I told the Squirrels that I have little sister. It pretty much rocked their world and they had a million questions. Now, whenever I tell Emily Stories, I have full and undivided attention.
Amusement Park (rides):
When I was in New York, I went to an amusement park with my little sister, Emily. There were so many rides! We walked around for a little while because we didn't know which ones to go on first. "Let's go on the roller coaster," I suggested. "I don't want too! It's too fast!" Emily said. So we kept walking. "Let's go on the Ferris Wheel!" But no, "It's too high!" Emily said this time. (The cable cars were also too high, bumper cars were too scary) so we eventually just went on the Merry-go-round because it wasn't too fast, wasn't too high, and we got to ride unicorns.
Emily's Day Off (illnesses):
Emily really didn't like to go to school. One day she decided to pretend to be sick. When my mom came in to wake her up for school, Emily said "oooohhhh (holding her stomach)." My mom asked "What's the matter?" to which Emily replied, "I have a stomachache." But my mom is very smart and said, "No you don't! Got to school!" Emily's reaction was scrunched up lips, lowered eyebrows, and hands to the hips with a healthy "Hmph!!" This conversation happened every morning for a week, but substituting headache, cold, fever, sore throat.
Stop By a Pond (pond animals):
When Emily was a baby, I took her to a pond to see all the animals. We saw some ducks and I whispered "Emily, look at the ducks!" and she screamed "WOW! COOL!" and scared them all away. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and pinched the bridge of my nose and said "Emmmmaaaaleeeeeee..." The same thing happened with a beaver, an otter, and some turtles. When we saw some polliwogs, she finally whispered, but she touched the water and they all swam away. Then she saw a frog and pointed it out to me and I said, "WOW!! COOL!" and I scared the frog away.
So, Emily, even though you sound like a problem-child in my stories, my students think you are hysterical and they love you (so do I!).
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It's truly an honor
.
When someone mentions the word "sports," who do you think of?
Of course you do, but what about when someone mentions sports in the Northern Virginia/ Washington D.C. area, who do you think of?
Getting warmer.
How about when someone is talking about sports announcers, more specifically the man who is behind the booming voice that is Lynchburg College Athletics?
You guessed it. Jamie "Itsa notta Chihuahua" Chagnon.
For the better part of a decade, Jamie, or as his canine friend (who may or may not be from south of the border) refers to him as, Hi-May, has been backing Lynchburg Athletics every step of the way. Both on and off the field, he has either been making or calling every play in every sport the Virginia institution has to offer.
"I'm going to be an important person in the sports industry one day," says Jamie. With his unmatched dedication and his passion for learning, Jamie is on his way to proving that one can not put a time limit on education. His thirst for knowledge and his even bigger craving for sports will inevitably bring him to the dream he has set out to achieve.
To some, a local hero. To others, an LC groupie. But to most, an aspiring, inspiring sports fan that is out to show that we can make a difference in this world.
When will that day come? My answer to that: there's no crystal ball for greatness, and the lines in your palms only lead to the hands that are willing to put in the work to get you where you need to be.
When all is said and done, I will look back, with a solitary tear of bliss and authorial pride streaking down my cheek, and say, "The man read my blog."
When someone mentions the word "sports," who do you think of?
Of course you do, but what about when someone mentions sports in the Northern Virginia/ Washington D.C. area, who do you think of?
Getting warmer.
How about when someone is talking about sports announcers, more specifically the man who is behind the booming voice that is Lynchburg College Athletics?
You guessed it. Jamie "Itsa notta Chihuahua" Chagnon.
For the better part of a decade, Jamie, or as his canine friend (who may or may not be from south of the border) refers to him as, Hi-May, has been backing Lynchburg Athletics every step of the way. Both on and off the field, he has either been making or calling every play in every sport the Virginia institution has to offer.
"I'm going to be an important person in the sports industry one day," says Jamie. With his unmatched dedication and his passion for learning, Jamie is on his way to proving that one can not put a time limit on education. His thirst for knowledge and his even bigger craving for sports will inevitably bring him to the dream he has set out to achieve.
To some, a local hero. To others, an LC groupie. But to most, an aspiring, inspiring sports fan that is out to show that we can make a difference in this world.
When will that day come? My answer to that: there's no crystal ball for greatness, and the lines in your palms only lead to the hands that are willing to put in the work to get you where you need to be.
When all is said and done, I will look back, with a solitary tear of bliss and authorial pride streaking down my cheek, and say, "The man read my blog."
Sunday, August 30, 2009
What's the soup du jour?
"It's the 'Soup of the Day'"
"Mmmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that."
As some of you may remember, awhile back I had a post displaying some of the unique names I've encountered here in Taiwan. Fortunately, the fun didn't stop there. Here are a few more:
Soup and Haha from the ticket counter at the movies. Perhaps they are acquaintances of Destroy and Icey from the previous names posting.
Smark is a new student of mine. Why not just drop the "s"? How does someone even come up with a name like that?
Smark's classmates also have some interesting, yet surprisingly more acceptable because they're Asian-sounding, names: Yuki, Momoko, Lulu, and Waylen.
Meanwhile, I've become "Jong" to many (mostly older people) who can't seem to get their tongue off their bottom teeth and behind their upper teeth to get that crisp "n" sound. And my class calls me "Teacher...Superman, Spiderman, Optimus Prime, Michael Jackson, Handsome Man, Roller Coaster, Send E-mails, Eyes, Hair, Koo-Koo Head, Crazy, (insert first word that pops into a child's mind)."
Oh well, it's like I always used to say... you can call me anything you want, just don't call me "Late For Dinner." Har har har...
"Mmmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that."
* * *
As some of you may remember, awhile back I had a post displaying some of the unique names I've encountered here in Taiwan. Fortunately, the fun didn't stop there. Here are a few more:
Soup and Haha from the ticket counter at the movies. Perhaps they are acquaintances of Destroy and Icey from the previous names posting.
Smark is a new student of mine. Why not just drop the "s"? How does someone even come up with a name like that?
Smark's classmates also have some interesting, yet surprisingly more acceptable because they're Asian-sounding, names: Yuki, Momoko, Lulu, and Waylen.
Meanwhile, I've become "Jong" to many (mostly older people) who can't seem to get their tongue off their bottom teeth and behind their upper teeth to get that crisp "n" sound. And my class calls me "Teacher...Superman, Spiderman, Optimus Prime, Michael Jackson, Handsome Man, Roller Coaster, Send E-mails, Eyes, Hair, Koo-Koo Head, Crazy, (insert first word that pops into a child's mind)."
Oh well, it's like I always used to say... you can call me anything you want, just don't call me "Late For Dinner." Har har har...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Where did August go?
Better yet- where did the past 6 months go?
August is waning and my 6-month milestone is approaching. While it is technically a few weeks away, time continues to be an interesting phenomena in Taiwan. Weeks pass with barely the blink of an eye.
All apologies for being basically MIA during this whole month. For me, and maybe others, this site has become a sort of pulse, just something I need to check every now and then to make sure I'm alive. Writing here keeps me grounded and somewhat connected to the world of my past. Unfortunately, I haven't been putting in the computer time to hatch a solid post.
August, in a nutshell, has been a month of re-adjusting. Our school began a new semester this month, making my class officially a "big" class (they will graduate from our kindergarten next year). With that, I also have a new classroom, a new co-teacher, 3 new students, and 1 student who came back after a month of vacation. The Squirrel class, which once boasted a 15:3 boys to girls ratio, is now 16:5 (larger class + more boys= chaos).
On the domestic front, Mike and I are holding down the fort by ourselves. A Michigan native was supposed to be joining us in late July, but he bailed last minute. Yesterday, we were supposed to get a new South African roommate, but he missed his flight and is apparently going to show up tomorrow. Mike, who has had 4 roommates in his short tenure here, is not holding his breath.
Next week, I am picking up a brand new class of students who don't speak a word of English, so you can expect some adventures and mishaps in the coming weeks. As for now, I leave you with this quote from Leo Tolstoy, which is referenced in the book "Into the Wild":
"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life."
(feast your eyes on these new pictures)
August is waning and my 6-month milestone is approaching. While it is technically a few weeks away, time continues to be an interesting phenomena in Taiwan. Weeks pass with barely the blink of an eye.
All apologies for being basically MIA during this whole month. For me, and maybe others, this site has become a sort of pulse, just something I need to check every now and then to make sure I'm alive. Writing here keeps me grounded and somewhat connected to the world of my past. Unfortunately, I haven't been putting in the computer time to hatch a solid post.
August, in a nutshell, has been a month of re-adjusting. Our school began a new semester this month, making my class officially a "big" class (they will graduate from our kindergarten next year). With that, I also have a new classroom, a new co-teacher, 3 new students, and 1 student who came back after a month of vacation. The Squirrel class, which once boasted a 15:3 boys to girls ratio, is now 16:5 (larger class + more boys= chaos).
On the domestic front, Mike and I are holding down the fort by ourselves. A Michigan native was supposed to be joining us in late July, but he bailed last minute. Yesterday, we were supposed to get a new South African roommate, but he missed his flight and is apparently going to show up tomorrow. Mike, who has had 4 roommates in his short tenure here, is not holding his breath.
Next week, I am picking up a brand new class of students who don't speak a word of English, so you can expect some adventures and mishaps in the coming weeks. As for now, I leave you with this quote from Leo Tolstoy, which is referenced in the book "Into the Wild":
"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life."
(feast your eyes on these new pictures)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Brace Yourself!
Early last week over the choppy waters of the Pacific Ocean, the weather conditions aligned perfectly to form a tropical depression for the eleventh time this year. Although still hundreds of miles off the shores of Taiwan, a frenzy had already stricken its residents. Weather websites starting compiling hit after hit as viewers constantly refreshed their browsers to see the latest animations of the projected path.
Every colleague and every passing friend became an amateur meteorologist, each with their own speculation on top wind speeds and anticipated landfall dates.
Only one thing was certain: This swelling, rotary cloud mass was headed straight for Taiwan.
Most news channels and weather experts showed the eye of the approaching storm, that has earned the rank of a Category 2 Typhoon (which, to clear things up, is only another word for "hurricane"), passing over Taipei City at some point on Friday August 7th.
Would it be enough to close schools? The only thing we could do is wait, as the tempest known as "Morakot" surged onward with northern Taiwan in its cross-hairs.
We got the call Thursday evening; Our school was included in the list of government mandated school closings. The anticipation was building, and although I was sporting sunglasses and a sweat-bead mustache on my walk to school that morning, my walk home was wet with foreboding rain.
Taking the necessary precautionary measures for typhoon survival, Mike and I headed out to stock up for what we were expecting to be 2 days of weather induced house-arrest. We returned home in mild, rain-filled winds with 24 Taiwan Beers, 4 DVDs, and just enough Doritos and ramen noodles to keep starvation at bay for the duration of the treacherous storm.
As Thursday night quickly ticked its way to early Friday morning, the wind speed increased, sending the rain in what seemed like every direction but straight down. The wind, which seemed to be amplified being 23 floors from the ground, howled through the night.
Friday continued with the same routine, although it was nothing too crazy. Mike and I braved the elements and went out for lunch. Then, during the brunt of the storm, I, in my mesh shorts, and Mike in his board shorts, went out for pizza.
With the pizza, beer, and chips, we yawned our way through the rest of the Morakot. I woke up Saturday morning to chirping birds and blue skies. Life in Taipei County returned to normal as if nothing had ever happened.
Apparently some people died and places got flooded other places in Taiwan. For me, it was a nice day off from school, but otherwise an unimpressive excuse for a typhoon.
Every colleague and every passing friend became an amateur meteorologist, each with their own speculation on top wind speeds and anticipated landfall dates.
Only one thing was certain: This swelling, rotary cloud mass was headed straight for Taiwan.
Most news channels and weather experts showed the eye of the approaching storm, that has earned the rank of a Category 2 Typhoon (which, to clear things up, is only another word for "hurricane"), passing over Taipei City at some point on Friday August 7th.
Would it be enough to close schools? The only thing we could do is wait, as the tempest known as "Morakot" surged onward with northern Taiwan in its cross-hairs.
We got the call Thursday evening; Our school was included in the list of government mandated school closings. The anticipation was building, and although I was sporting sunglasses and a sweat-bead mustache on my walk to school that morning, my walk home was wet with foreboding rain.
Taking the necessary precautionary measures for typhoon survival, Mike and I headed out to stock up for what we were expecting to be 2 days of weather induced house-arrest. We returned home in mild, rain-filled winds with 24 Taiwan Beers, 4 DVDs, and just enough Doritos and ramen noodles to keep starvation at bay for the duration of the treacherous storm.
As Thursday night quickly ticked its way to early Friday morning, the wind speed increased, sending the rain in what seemed like every direction but straight down. The wind, which seemed to be amplified being 23 floors from the ground, howled through the night.
Friday continued with the same routine, although it was nothing too crazy. Mike and I braved the elements and went out for lunch. Then, during the brunt of the storm, I, in my mesh shorts, and Mike in his board shorts, went out for pizza.
With the pizza, beer, and chips, we yawned our way through the rest of the Morakot. I woke up Saturday morning to chirping birds and blue skies. Life in Taipei County returned to normal as if nothing had ever happened.
Apparently some people died and places got flooded other places in Taiwan. For me, it was a nice day off from school, but otherwise an unimpressive excuse for a typhoon.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Q & A: Part 3
Q: Do people dress differently?
A: Eh, not really. But flamboyant trucker hats are very big over here.
For girls- your shorts are going to be shorter and tighter, but you are more likely to have the stems to pull it off.
For boys- it's not uncommon for you to be on the subway fixing your hair in a pocket mirror.
For couples- you might find yourself wearing matching t-shirts when you go out.
For children- there are some very, very cruel parents dressing you in the morning (there is a 7-year-old boy in one class that I refer to as Daisy Duke).
For women- "Back home I'd think the women are prostitutes. But here I think it's just women in their Sunday best." -Mike
For men- either business attire or a stained white tee.
Overall, there isn't anything that really that shocking. Just like back home, you've got your oddballs that march to the beat of some intergalactic transmission they are picking up.
As for me, I keep it low-key with a red polo and mouse ears:
A: Eh, not really. But flamboyant trucker hats are very big over here.
For girls- your shorts are going to be shorter and tighter, but you are more likely to have the stems to pull it off.
For boys- it's not uncommon for you to be on the subway fixing your hair in a pocket mirror.
For couples- you might find yourself wearing matching t-shirts when you go out.
For children- there are some very, very cruel parents dressing you in the morning (there is a 7-year-old boy in one class that I refer to as Daisy Duke).
For women- "Back home I'd think the women are prostitutes. But here I think it's just women in their Sunday best." -Mike
For men- either business attire or a stained white tee.
Overall, there isn't anything that really that shocking. Just like back home, you've got your oddballs that march to the beat of some intergalactic transmission they are picking up.
As for me, I keep it low-key with a red polo and mouse ears:
Monday, August 3, 2009
About that hard drive...
This is kind of depressing. Two days after I said my good-byes to everyone knowing that my next vacation will be in about 1 year, my hard drive crashed and took with it many memories. After 5 years of wishy-washy service, my computer flat-lined without any warning (unless you consider having a 5-year-old computer warning enough).
Being a "writer," it would have made sense for me to have all my files backed up. You know, everything I've ever written over the past 5 years. Pictures I've accumulated. (This seems like a good situation to use the word "alas.") Alas, my files dissipated into digital hell, with only a nanobyte of hope of being recovered.
But hey, it was really awesome to see everyone again! Thanks for making my vacation fun!
Here is an article showing that my coming here was a good example of "striking while the iron is hot."
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/work/overseas-teaching-jobs-a-lesson-in-supply-and-demand/article1232903/
Being a "writer," it would have made sense for me to have all my files backed up. You know, everything I've ever written over the past 5 years. Pictures I've accumulated. (This seems like a good situation to use the word "alas.") Alas, my files dissipated into digital hell, with only a nanobyte of hope of being recovered.
But hey, it was really awesome to see everyone again! Thanks for making my vacation fun!
Here is an article showing that my coming here was a good example of "striking while the iron is hot."
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/work/overseas-teaching-jobs-a-lesson-in-supply-and-demand/article1232903/
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Q & A: Part 2 (updated)
Q: Hey Johnny! If the world were flat, would Taiwan be on the left or right side of the map?
A: It depends where you live.
This question was sent about 2 days after I became prepared to answer it. To prep for a lesson for my class, I drew a map of the world on my whiteboard. Mind you, I drew a map the way I know how, which is with England and the Atlantic Ocean in the middle, and the Pacific Ocean at the ends of the Earth, if you will:
For the most part, in Asia, the maps have the Pacific Ocean in the middle and the Americas are about as far to the right as you can get without falling off the map.
So I'm putting the finishing touches on my whiteboard map when a few of my students walk in, and to gauge my drawing skills I ask them to point out New York (keeping in mind these kids know its location very well). They went straight to the right side of the board and pointed at Japan. Confused at first, I asked them to point to Australia. They walked to South America, stared at it for a few seconds before pointing to Brazil. Taiwan? They pointed at Cuba.
So maybe I'll answer your question with another question: Where do you think Taiwan would be?
Q: Isn't America considered to be "Western civilization?" So wouldn't it be to the west of the rest of the world?
A: I'm don't know why I'm even responding to you people about this question. Can't we just accept that the world isn't flat, and you can reach the U.S. by traveling both east and west? If not, than please consult your internet browser for more information.
a hemisphere lesson with Dr. Globe
Dictionary.com's definition of "Western" (see def. 6)
Wikipedia's article on the "Western World"
A: It depends where you live.
This question was sent about 2 days after I became prepared to answer it. To prep for a lesson for my class, I drew a map of the world on my whiteboard. Mind you, I drew a map the way I know how, which is with England and the Atlantic Ocean in the middle, and the Pacific Ocean at the ends of the Earth, if you will:
For the most part, in Asia, the maps have the Pacific Ocean in the middle and the Americas are about as far to the right as you can get without falling off the map.
So I'm putting the finishing touches on my whiteboard map when a few of my students walk in, and to gauge my drawing skills I ask them to point out New York (keeping in mind these kids know its location very well). They went straight to the right side of the board and pointed at Japan. Confused at first, I asked them to point to Australia. They walked to South America, stared at it for a few seconds before pointing to Brazil. Taiwan? They pointed at Cuba.
So maybe I'll answer your question with another question: Where do you think Taiwan would be?
Q: Isn't America considered to be "Western civilization?" So wouldn't it be to the west of the rest of the world?
A: I'm don't know why I'm even responding to you people about this question. Can't we just accept that the world isn't flat, and you can reach the U.S. by traveling both east and west? If not, than please consult your internet browser for more information.
a hemisphere lesson with Dr. Globe
Dictionary.com's definition of "Western" (see def. 6)
Wikipedia's article on the "Western World"
Q & A: Part 1
Frightened by the legitimate threat of becoming just another burn out, I've decided to post the Q & A's in installments. With that being said, thank you to those who sent questions, and please don't hesitate to continue entertain me (and my billions of readers) with your questions!
Also, if you're wondering how I got here in the first place, please re-direct your attention here.
Q: Hello Johnny, I would like to know your thoughts on 7-11 (in Taiwan, of course).
A: In a word: convenient. Even in Shijr, there is a 7-11 (or Family Mart, or Hi-Life) within ear shot of the next one. One of my favorite sarcastic jokes (which will never get old) is when I'm on the phone either giving/taking directions and I use 7-11 as a reference point. There are 4 on the main floor of Taipei Main Station alone.
Practically speaking, however, 7-11 in Taiwan takes "convenient store" to a new level. In addition to buying my tea, breakfast, and beer there, I can also pay all of my utility bills there. They scan the bills, take the cash, and bada-bing bada-boom you're on your way.
Q: Who are the people from all over the world?
A: I'm assuming this is in reference to my ClustrMap, which boasts IP addresses from 28 countries around the world, including the recent addition of Nigeria, which gives me at least one red dot in each of the 6 inhabited continents.
The only thing I can attribute to this is the button on the top of the page that says "Next Blog," which when clicked, brings you to a randomly selected blog. I've used it a bunch of times and found some pretty interesting sites, but a lot of times I'm directed to a blog in another language. So unless you know the people in Peru, Kuwait, or Brunei Darussalam, these people will remain a mystery.
Thanks again for the Q's, more A's are on their way!
Also, if you're wondering how I got here in the first place, please re-direct your attention here.
Q: Hello Johnny, I would like to know your thoughts on 7-11 (in Taiwan, of course).
A: In a word: convenient. Even in Shijr, there is a 7-11 (or Family Mart, or Hi-Life) within ear shot of the next one. One of my favorite sarcastic jokes (which will never get old) is when I'm on the phone either giving/taking directions and I use 7-11 as a reference point. There are 4 on the main floor of Taipei Main Station alone.
Practically speaking, however, 7-11 in Taiwan takes "convenient store" to a new level. In addition to buying my tea, breakfast, and beer there, I can also pay all of my utility bills there. They scan the bills, take the cash, and bada-bing bada-boom you're on your way.
Q: Who are the people from all over the world?
A: I'm assuming this is in reference to my ClustrMap, which boasts IP addresses from 28 countries around the world, including the recent addition of Nigeria, which gives me at least one red dot in each of the 6 inhabited continents.
The only thing I can attribute to this is the button on the top of the page that says "Next Blog," which when clicked, brings you to a randomly selected blog. I've used it a bunch of times and found some pretty interesting sites, but a lot of times I'm directed to a blog in another language. So unless you know the people in Peru, Kuwait, or Brunei Darussalam, these people will remain a mystery.
Thanks again for the Q's, more A's are on their way!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Earthquake!!
I woke up around 2:00 this morning feeling very confused. I jumped out of bed and felt very dizzy and disoriented. I leaned against my door-frame to keep from falling over. As my brain finally caught up with my body, I realized there was an earthquake. I heard glass shatter against the ground outside.
Once I felt like the quake subsided (only about 10 seconds or so), I still felt very woozy. I tried to walk to the bathroom, but for some reason my body felt like it hadn't shaken the earthquake sensation. Eventually it stopped and I got my stability back.
I found out later that a 6.3-magnitude quake off the east coast was the cause of this early morning rumble. I also learned that the reason I felt wobbly even after I could tell the earthquake had ended was because I live on the 23rd floor, and the whole building tends to sway for a solid 10 seconds after everything is over.
Yikes.
.
[Also, much to mysurprise expectation dismay, I haven't received very many questions for my Q&A post. My most common request is "Tell me the stories you don't put on your blog." Well, ask me the questions that I don't answer on my blog and I'll let you know!][
Once I felt like the quake subsided (only about 10 seconds or so), I still felt very woozy. I tried to walk to the bathroom, but for some reason my body felt like it hadn't shaken the earthquake sensation. Eventually it stopped and I got my stability back.
I found out later that a 6.3-magnitude quake off the east coast was the cause of this early morning rumble. I also learned that the reason I felt wobbly even after I could tell the earthquake had ended was because I live on the 23rd floor, and the whole building tends to sway for a solid 10 seconds after everything is over.
Yikes.
.
[Also, much to my
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Send your questions
To all my friends, family, and readers worldwide:
For my next post, please send me questions for a Q&A! I'm running out of stories, and I'd like to know what you actually want to hear about. In a week I'll put together all the questions (if anybody asks any).
Example:
Q: Hey Johnny! What did you have for breakfast this morning?
A: Thanks for the question! This morning I had a bun thing that was filled with peanut butter and a fluff-like substance. I washed it down with an ice cold green tea latte. Nutritious and delicious!
I look forward to hearing your questions!
.
For my next post, please send me questions for a Q&A! I'm running out of stories, and I'd like to know what you actually want to hear about. In a week I'll put together all the questions (if anybody asks any).
Example:
Q: Hey Johnny! What did you have for breakfast this morning?
A: Thanks for the question! This morning I had a bun thing that was filled with peanut butter and a fluff-like substance. I washed it down with an ice cold green tea latte. Nutritious and delicious!
I look forward to hearing your questions!
.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Voice
"The world is becoming a global village, and English is the passport for its citizens and the key for international communication."
My voice booms into the microphone. I am in a sound-proof room wearing headphones that feel like they are consuming my ears. I continue to talk about my school, trying to simultaneously make my voice sound a little deeper (a la Don LaFontaine), while still remembering to dictate the correct intonation that I had already scratched onto the script in the form of red accents.
"Like you are narrating something on the Discovery Channel," they tell me. I only hear voices.
The week before I found myself in a professional recording studio, someone from Management came to me asking for help writing a script for the school's promotion video. This included captions, subtitles, and of course, the English narrator.
The process was this: She would read the Chinese, explain it to me to the best of her English abilities, I would think abo
ut it, then type what I thought it was supposed to be. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
A request followed the translations for me to lend my deep voice and American accent to the promotion of the school. Mostly because this sounded like a pretty fun idea, yet also keeping in mind that requests from Management don't exactly come in the form of "yes-or-no" questions, I agreed and began practicing my voice fluctuation in order to emphasize the appropriate words.
After only 20 minutes in the studio for about 3 minutes of narration, I am finished.
"We will use this DVD until we go bankrupt." The thought lingers.
My voice booms into the microphone. I am in a sound-proof room wearing headphones that feel like they are consuming my ears. I continue to talk about my school, trying to simultaneously make my voice sound a little deeper (a la Don LaFontaine), while still remembering to dictate the correct intonation that I had already scratched onto the script in the form of red accents.
"Like you are narrating something on the Discovery Channel," they tell me. I only hear voices.
* * *
The process was this: She would read the Chinese, explain it to me to the best of her English abilities, I would think abo
ut it, then type what I thought it was supposed to be. Repeat, repeat, repeat.A request followed the translations for me to lend my deep voice and American accent to the promotion of the school. Mostly because this sounded like a pretty fun idea, yet also keeping in mind that requests from Management don't exactly come in the form of "yes-or-no" questions, I agreed and began practicing my voice fluctuation in order to emphasize the appropriate words.
After only 20 minutes in the studio for about 3 minutes of narration, I am finished.
"We will use this DVD until we go bankrupt." The thought lingers.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Do you miss me?
I had a chat with one of my co-workers the other day about what in fact is so appealing about living in Taiwan. He is one of the many people I know who planned to stay for a year and now has been here for about 5 years. I think he really hit the nail on the head with how he worded the situation.
He basically said that because we don't really live here, or speak the language for that matter, we aren't really involved in Taiwanese politics, drama, and other domestic issues that would normally strike our nerves back at home. On the other hand, we aren't at home to have to deal with those certain issues mentioned above. We are more or less isolated in our own worlds. It's a liberating feeling being a foreigner who is far away from home and politely ignorant to the immediate surroundings. It really gives you time to focus on yourself and your own life.
Speaking of reasons why I love Taiwan, apparently it's pretty cool if you have zits and are balding. Allow me to explain...
A few weeks ago I was chatting with my boss' husband and another of my superiors, both of whom are Taiwanese. I had just recently shaved my head and was telling them how I didn't really like my new hair cut because of how obvious it makes the fact that I am bald(ing).
"Not to worry," they assured me. "In Taiwanese culture, balding is a sign that you will be very successful. If you lose your hair it means you think a lot." (This is right on par with Billy Joel's thoughts on balding: "It's not about less hair, it's about more head.") Then, of course, they referred to the very man I was speaking with, who owns the school. He is, of course, very successful. However, his 40-year-old hairline has only receded approximately the diameter of 2 strands of hair. If that's all the hair-loss it takes to be successful, then at age 22 I should be ready to open a Swiss bank account in no time.
Also recently, I was talking with my co-teacher when she stopped mid-sentence and stared at my nose.
"Do you have a zit?" I hadn't seen a mirror in about 10 hours and she had a pretty good view of my face, so I presumed I did.
"Uh... I guess so," I answered sheepishly. In general, back at home, I think people politely pretend not to notice blemishes on their friends' faces.
"In Taiwanese culture that means that somebody misses you."
Well, I've had very clear skin since I've been in Taiwan, so that belief is either a really clever way to avoid embarrassment throughout middle school, or nobody really misses me (especially since that "zit" didn't even turn out to be one). You tell me...
.
He basically said that because we don't really live here, or speak the language for that matter, we aren't really involved in Taiwanese politics, drama, and other domestic issues that would normally strike our nerves back at home. On the other hand, we aren't at home to have to deal with those certain issues mentioned above. We are more or less isolated in our own worlds. It's a liberating feeling being a foreigner who is far away from home and politely ignorant to the immediate surroundings. It really gives you time to focus on yourself and your own life.
Speaking of reasons why I love Taiwan, apparently it's pretty cool if you have zits and are balding. Allow me to explain...
A few weeks ago I was chatting with my boss' husband and another of my superiors, both of whom are Taiwanese. I had just recently shaved my head and was telling them how I didn't really like my new hair cut because of how obvious it makes the fact that I am bald(ing).
"Not to worry," they assured me. "In Taiwanese culture, balding is a sign that you will be very successful. If you lose your hair it means you think a lot." (This is right on par with Billy Joel's thoughts on balding: "It's not about less hair, it's about more head.") Then, of course, they referred to the very man I was speaking with, who owns the school. He is, of course, very successful. However, his 40-year-old hairline has only receded approximately the diameter of 2 strands of hair. If that's all the hair-loss it takes to be successful, then at age 22 I should be ready to open a Swiss bank account in no time.
Also recently, I was talking with my co-teacher when she stopped mid-sentence and stared at my nose.
"Do you have a zit?" I hadn't seen a mirror in about 10 hours and she had a pretty good view of my face, so I presumed I did.
"Uh... I guess so," I answered sheepishly. In general, back at home, I think people politely pretend not to notice blemishes on their friends' faces.
"In Taiwanese culture that means that somebody misses you."
Well, I've had very clear skin since I've been in Taiwan, so that belief is either a really clever way to avoid embarrassment throughout middle school, or nobody really misses me (especially since that "zit" didn't even turn out to be one). You tell me...
.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
This deserves its own post
.
Taiwan farts don't stink.
Yeah, I said it, and I think I would know by now. Ladies and gentleman of the jury...
Exhibit A:
I lived with Dave for a month in a room small enough for one small squeak to smoke the place out, but nothing. I slept in the same bed with him for a month. Not a single Dutch Oven. (Cold stare into the eyes of the jurors.)
Exhibit B:
I've been living with Mike for 2 months now and I'm not embarrassed to admit that we are not gas deficient. Odor, on the other hand, is definitely in short supply.
(Refill glass of water, only to pour it right down the hatch.) No further witnesses.
I don't know what to attribute this great phenomenon to, but I do know that it scares me. I will begin collecting evidence to figure out this mystery.
Taiwan farts don't stink.
Yeah, I said it, and I think I would know by now. Ladies and gentleman of the jury...
Exhibit A:
I lived with Dave for a month in a room small enough for one small squeak to smoke the place out, but nothing. I slept in the same bed with him for a month. Not a single Dutch Oven. (Cold stare into the eyes of the jurors.)
Exhibit B:
I've been living with Mike for 2 months now and I'm not embarrassed to admit that we are not gas deficient. Odor, on the other hand, is definitely in short supply.
(Refill glass of water, only to pour it right down the hatch.) No further witnesses.
I don't know what to attribute this great phenomenon to, but I do know that it scares me. I will begin collecting evidence to figure out this mystery.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
What's in a name?
"Names are a great mystery. I've never known whether the name is molded by the child or the child changed to fit the name. But you can be sure of this -- whenever a human has a nickname it is a proof that the name given him was wrong."
~John Steinbeck
Here is a list of great names I heard on Saturday:
Destroy and Icey: 2 dudes that work at the movie theater where I saw the new Terminator movie.
Liz: the guy that sold Mike a new pair of flip-flops. His name is very fitting.
Cola: an attractive girl that works at a jewelry counter in Ximending. C-O-L-A, Cola.
Skeet: a random guy we met at a grocery store that speaks great English. Wondering if he's aware of his name's implications.
Not Band: a rock and roll cover band consisting of a bunch of 17-year-olds that we met on the train.
Here we are rocking out with Not Band on the train:
Speaking of names, how about these names for students: Legal, Genius, Zero, Lion, Eagle, Apple, Christ... (it's a goal of mine to be asked to help assign English names to our new classes).
Finally, taking the award for awkward naming, here is a picture of me and Mike shopping for new hoods:
~John Steinbeck
Destroy and Icey: 2 dudes that work at the movie theater where I saw the new Terminator movie.
Liz: the guy that sold Mike a new pair of flip-flops. His name is very fitting.
Cola: an attractive girl that works at a jewelry counter in Ximending. C-O-L-A, Cola.
Skeet: a random guy we met at a grocery store that speaks great English. Wondering if he's aware of his name's implications.
Not Band: a rock and roll cover band consisting of a bunch of 17-year-olds that we met on the train.
Here we are rocking out with Not Band on the train:
Speaking of names, how about these names for students: Legal, Genius, Zero, Lion, Eagle, Apple, Christ... (it's a goal of mine to be asked to help assign English names to our new classes).
Finally, taking the award for awkward naming, here is a picture of me and Mike shopping for new hoods:
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Bizzaros
At some point or another everyone has come across a "bizzaro" of someone they know. You know, the person who has an uncanny resemblance to someone you know, to the point where you would swear by insisting they are twins separated at birth, if not distant relatives.
As much as we like to play up the "unique individual" card, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sorta disagree with that. Sure, nobody shares your fingerprints, but I bet there are tons of people out there that could get away with being your stunt double.
Take snowflakes, for example. We all know that "no two snowflakes are exactly alike." But let's face it, when you are staring at two feet of snow on your driveway wielding a shabby plastic shovel, snow is snow is snow. You sure as hell aren't going to fingerprint any of those flakes. Isn't that what life is about, anyway? A bunch of snowflakes claiming originality, but all floating aimlessly in the same direction, praying that they can avoid a gaping mouth with a fat, warm tongue hanging out.
And for what? Maybe you get packed into the head of the biggest snowman on the block. Maybe you get pissed on. Maybe you get balled up and tossed into battle. Or maybe, if you're like most snowflakes, you just end up lying there among the rest of the flakes, waiting for the next one to fall on you and take your place on the front lines of the beauty of an untouched snowfall. And at what price? The closer to the surface you are, the sooner you are going to melt. But they keep coming, one after the other, fighting to be on top.
Whatever snowflake you have become or are destined to be, don't we all have the same fate? As sure as the sun will rise, Spring will come and the snow will melt. Once a blinding white blanket of snow is now a puddle turning dirt into mud. Are there any two drops of water that are alike? Are there any that are different? Where do you draw a line between a drop of water and an ocean? At one moment you are a frozen crystal with never before seen beauty, and the next moment you are seeping into the ground and can't tell yourself from the guy next to you, helping you hydrate the weeds in somebody's garden.
If the glass is half full, or if your religion allows it, one day you will find yourself again, after what seems like an eternity of evaporation, condensation, etc., until one day you're floating with the grace of a falling rose petal from a gray cloud on a winter day, a one-of-a-kind snowflake.
...anyway, back to bizzaro people. Since being in Taiwan I've seen a handful of people's Asian Bizzaro. Mike and I have both have had a few instances where we see an Asian person and claim, "If my buddy from home was Asian, that's exactly what he would look like." And there's really no more explanation you can come up with. The two people probably look nothing alike, but there are some people that are distinctly Asian Bizzaros.
Here's an interesting fact:
The only reason I sat down and even opened up a new post was so that I could post this picture. The Asian Bizzaro theory became too real when I saw a Bizzaro Stanley!
As much as we like to play up the "unique individual" card, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sorta disagree with that. Sure, nobody shares your fingerprints, but I bet there are tons of people out there that could get away with being your stunt double.
Take snowflakes, for example. We all know that "no two snowflakes are exactly alike." But let's face it, when you are staring at two feet of snow on your driveway wielding a shabby plastic shovel, snow is snow is snow. You sure as hell aren't going to fingerprint any of those flakes. Isn't that what life is about, anyway? A bunch of snowflakes claiming originality, but all floating aimlessly in the same direction, praying that they can avoid a gaping mouth with a fat, warm tongue hanging out.
And for what? Maybe you get packed into the head of the biggest snowman on the block. Maybe you get pissed on. Maybe you get balled up and tossed into battle. Or maybe, if you're like most snowflakes, you just end up lying there among the rest of the flakes, waiting for the next one to fall on you and take your place on the front lines of the beauty of an untouched snowfall. And at what price? The closer to the surface you are, the sooner you are going to melt. But they keep coming, one after the other, fighting to be on top.
Whatever snowflake you have become or are destined to be, don't we all have the same fate? As sure as the sun will rise, Spring will come and the snow will melt. Once a blinding white blanket of snow is now a puddle turning dirt into mud. Are there any two drops of water that are alike? Are there any that are different? Where do you draw a line between a drop of water and an ocean? At one moment you are a frozen crystal with never before seen beauty, and the next moment you are seeping into the ground and can't tell yourself from the guy next to you, helping you hydrate the weeds in somebody's garden.
If the glass is half full, or if your religion allows it, one day you will find yourself again, after what seems like an eternity of evaporation, condensation, etc., until one day you're floating with the grace of a falling rose petal from a gray cloud on a winter day, a one-of-a-kind snowflake.
...anyway, back to bizzaro people. Since being in Taiwan I've seen a handful of people's Asian Bizzaro. Mike and I have both have had a few instances where we see an Asian person and claim, "If my buddy from home was Asian, that's exactly what he would look like." And there's really no more explanation you can come up with. The two people probably look nothing alike, but there are some people that are distinctly Asian Bizzaros.
Here's an interesting fact:
The only reason I sat down and even opened up a new post was so that I could post this picture. The Asian Bizzaro theory became too real when I saw a Bizzaro Stanley!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Homesick?
I don't think so. No offense, home.
"Aren't you craving a Jack Daniel's Burger from T.G.I. Fridays?" you might ask. "Think about that all-beef patty glazed with Jack Daniel’s traditional glaze and stacked with two strips of crispy bacon and smoky Provolone cheese on a toasted bun. (Served with a side of Jack Daniel's traditional glaze)."
"Good point, I think I'll head to Ximen this weekend."
Obviously major restaurants franchise globally, so it's not really news that I can grab a burger whenever I feel like it. It is pretty safe to say that I'm not really feeling homesick, though, and especially not from a lack of Western-style food. Since I've been here I've had burgers, fries, pizza, pasta, you name it. While it's not especially hard to come by, its more likely that I'll be eating Clean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese, Chinese, or even an occasional Kiwi Burger.
My tenure in Taiwan is approaching the 3 month landmark, which I'm told is a relatively trying time period in terms of culture shock and homesickness. Apparently the first 3 months is a "honeymoon" period where everything seems amazing and novel. Spot on so far. If I am to comply with predictions, I should be coming up on the period where my immune system weakens and I become vulnerable to homesickness.
While I can't see myself being homesick anytime soon, the Taiwan novelty has become slightly diminished (as noted by my lack of interesting things to say in posts). On the other hand, I am always very busy with school, so my time to go exploring and find new things is a little bit less than when I was unemployed.
Homesick? The verdict is "no." If I do start to feel the symptoms I will be sure to post them, but in the meantime, check out what I ate for dinner last night:
I think I've come a long way since gagging on chicken feet.
Other updates from this hemisphere: I finally got my ARC (Alien Resident Certificate), making me a legal alien in Taiwan. Take me to your leader... Typhoon season is coming and I'm trying to figure out a way to carry an umbrella and not feel like a fruitcake... I'm still taking W.O.D. suggestions. For the complete list, click here... I've also introduced "Phrase of the Day" for commonly used phrases and idioms. For the complete list, click here... After my 4-day weekend, my school threw a 6-day week counter punch (with a 1-day weekend to cap it off)... I may or may not have shaved my head.
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"Aren't you craving a Jack Daniel's Burger from T.G.I. Fridays?" you might ask. "Think about that all-beef patty glazed with Jack Daniel’s traditional glaze and stacked with two strips of crispy bacon and smoky Provolone cheese on a toasted bun. (Served with a side of Jack Daniel's traditional glaze)."
"Good point, I think I'll head to Ximen this weekend."
Obviously major restaurants franchise globally, so it's not really news that I can grab a burger whenever I feel like it. It is pretty safe to say that I'm not really feeling homesick, though, and especially not from a lack of Western-style food. Since I've been here I've had burgers, fries, pizza, pasta, you name it. While it's not especially hard to come by, its more likely that I'll be eating Clean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese, Chinese, or even an occasional Kiwi Burger.
My tenure in Taiwan is approaching the 3 month landmark, which I'm told is a relatively trying time period in terms of culture shock and homesickness. Apparently the first 3 months is a "honeymoon" period where everything seems amazing and novel. Spot on so far. If I am to comply with predictions, I should be coming up on the period where my immune system weakens and I become vulnerable to homesickness.
While I can't see myself being homesick anytime soon, the Taiwan novelty has become slightly diminished (as noted by my lack of interesting things to say in posts). On the other hand, I am always very busy with school, so my time to go exploring and find new things is a little bit less than when I was unemployed.
Homesick? The verdict is "no." If I do start to feel the symptoms I will be sure to post them, but in the meantime, check out what I ate for dinner last night:
I think I've come a long way since gagging on chicken feet.
Other updates from this hemisphere: I finally got my ARC (Alien Resident Certificate), making me a legal alien in Taiwan. Take me to your leader... Typhoon season is coming and I'm trying to figure out a way to carry an umbrella and not feel like a fruitcake... I'm still taking W.O.D. suggestions. For the complete list, click here... I've also introduced "Phrase of the Day" for commonly used phrases and idioms. For the complete list, click here... After my 4-day weekend, my school threw a 6-day week counter punch (with a 1-day weekend to cap it off)... I may or may not have shaved my head.
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Friday, May 29, 2009
Word of the Day
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As of last week, I introduced a "Word of the Day" to my students. My goal is for it to act as something extra for them. They love learning the curriculum material, but as with anyone, they love anything outside the text that I can give them. Teaching outside the box not only provides them with extra information, but it also stimulates their interest and makes them more inclined to focus.
Please help me think of some good words! The criteria is pretty straightforward: something that they will be able to use everyday in a normal conversation. The ones we've had so far I have been able to pepper into lessons many times a day. Here is what we've done so far:
As of last week, I introduced a "Word of the Day" to my students. My goal is for it to act as something extra for them. They love learning the curriculum material, but as with anyone, they love anything outside the text that I can give them. Teaching outside the box not only provides them with extra information, but it also stimulates their interest and makes them more inclined to focus.
Please help me think of some good words! The criteria is pretty straightforward: something that they will be able to use everyday in a normal conversation. The ones we've had so far I have been able to pepper into lessons many times a day. Here is what we've done so far:
- amazing
- terrible
- spotless
- filthy
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Taipei Zoo Report Card (Part 2)
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We meet again, Taipei Zoo. It seems like only yesterday that I was speed-walking through your African Animal Area as you tried endlessly to awe me with your exotic wildlife, subjecting yourself to my harsh grading system. A fine establishment indeed, although I only was able to see about 20% of what you have to offer.
This week, along with my kindergarten class, I was on the prowl again at the zoo. As judgmental as ever, I tried as best I could to inspect each animal exhibit while also juggling 18 five-year-olds in 90 degree heat and 113% humidity.
Formosan Animal Area: B-
For such a small island, Taiwan has some pretty impressive wildlife. The animals themselves were readily available for viewing and were nothing short of entertaining. My question though: how hard is it to get a deer, flying squirrel, otter, or black bear from any country and slap the word "Formosan" on the name tag to give yourself more diverse fauna? Anyone with me on this conspiracy theory?
Spider Monkeys: A+
These guys were born to be zoo animals. Swinging, climbing, jumping, and howling non-stop was enough to draw a standing ovation from a group of Taiwanese youngsters (and their American teacher). Sure beats whatever they were doing wherever they came from. Keep up the great work, guys!
Giant Panda: B+
The panda's grade went up slightly. The line was longer and the actual viewing time was about the same. One panda was passed out in the back corner of the cage, and the other one was pacing around. Continue air-conditioning the Panda House and I see great improvement in the coming months.
Needle-nose Pliers Crocodile: F
I made up the name, but I'm sure you can imagine this fabulous animal. "Teacher, is it dead already?" inquired one of my English-learning youngsters. How do you explain to a child about animals that refuse to flash their sharp teeth despite being fed and sheltered? Here's a tip: if you ever plan to get a passing grade, start by not blending in with your habitat.
Other kinds of Monkeys: A+
This includes all the Tropical Rain forest monkeys. Again with the climbing, swinging, picking, and just being generally disgusting(something that was happening on both sides of the barrier). All these guys have to do is show up to work and the crowd goes wild. I even took notes to improve my own teaching.
Leopard: D
This giant, dry-heaving, spotted feline was doomed from the start. None of my kids could wrap their minds around the fact that it wasn't a cheetah. Maybe next time, leopard. Good luck with that hair ball.
Asian Elephants: B
Sorry, boys, those tiny little ears don't hold a candle to the mainsails on the African Elephants. Major points earned for being an elephant. Always a crowd-pleaser, so good job being elephants. Sorry you didn't make it in the big tent. (Don't forget to giggle after reading the first sentence.)
Tigers: F
Wake up, you bums.
Nocturnal House: F-
I hope you understand that this wasn't my idea. This is my idea: a company called "Johnny's Pest Control/Nocturnal House Supplier." This place epitomizes that whole trash vs. treasure bit. I didn't know how to explain to my kids why I kept yelling "Scram!" at all the animals. "Teacher John, I can't see!" they whined. "That's okay," I said. "They're rats. Don't you remember anything I told you about New York?" The worst part about this dimly lit maze was that the only thing at the end was a great example of pathetic fallacy: a rainstorm.
Taipei Zoo: A-
The more I see, the more I like. Anything that keeps my class entertained for a day when I don't have to is A-OK in my book. Still to come in the Taipei Zoo Report Card series: The Penguin House, Amphibian and Reptile House, and the Bird House.
pictures of animals and my little kiddies from Zoo Round Two (just found out- the zoom function on my pic page is pretty cool.)
.
We meet again, Taipei Zoo. It seems like only yesterday that I was speed-walking through your African Animal Area as you tried endlessly to awe me with your exotic wildlife, subjecting yourself to my harsh grading system. A fine establishment indeed, although I only was able to see about 20% of what you have to offer.
This week, along with my kindergarten class, I was on the prowl again at the zoo. As judgmental as ever, I tried as best I could to inspect each animal exhibit while also juggling 18 five-year-olds in 90 degree heat and 113% humidity.
Formosan Animal Area: B-
For such a small island, Taiwan has some pretty impressive wildlife. The animals themselves were readily available for viewing and were nothing short of entertaining. My question though: how hard is it to get a deer, flying squirrel, otter, or black bear from any country and slap the word "Formosan" on the name tag to give yourself more diverse fauna? Anyone with me on this conspiracy theory?
Spider Monkeys: A+
These guys were born to be zoo animals. Swinging, climbing, jumping, and howling non-stop was enough to draw a standing ovation from a group of Taiwanese youngsters (and their American teacher). Sure beats whatever they were doing wherever they came from. Keep up the great work, guys!
Giant Panda: B+
The panda's grade went up slightly. The line was longer and the actual viewing time was about the same. One panda was passed out in the back corner of the cage, and the other one was pacing around. Continue air-conditioning the Panda House and I see great improvement in the coming months.
Needle-nose Pliers Crocodile: F
I made up the name, but I'm sure you can imagine this fabulous animal. "Teacher, is it dead already?" inquired one of my English-learning youngsters. How do you explain to a child about animals that refuse to flash their sharp teeth despite being fed and sheltered? Here's a tip: if you ever plan to get a passing grade, start by not blending in with your habitat.
Other kinds of Monkeys: A+
This includes all the Tropical Rain forest monkeys. Again with the climbing, swinging, picking, and just being generally disgusting(something that was happening on both sides of the barrier). All these guys have to do is show up to work and the crowd goes wild. I even took notes to improve my own teaching.
Leopard: D
This giant, dry-heaving, spotted feline was doomed from the start. None of my kids could wrap their minds around the fact that it wasn't a cheetah. Maybe next time, leopard. Good luck with that hair ball.
Asian Elephants: B
Sorry, boys, those tiny little ears don't hold a candle to the mainsails on the African Elephants. Major points earned for being an elephant. Always a crowd-pleaser, so good job being elephants. Sorry you didn't make it in the big tent. (Don't forget to giggle after reading the first sentence.)
Tigers: F
Wake up, you bums.
Nocturnal House: F-
I hope you understand that this wasn't my idea. This is my idea: a company called "Johnny's Pest Control/Nocturnal House Supplier." This place epitomizes that whole trash vs. treasure bit. I didn't know how to explain to my kids why I kept yelling "Scram!" at all the animals. "Teacher John, I can't see!" they whined. "That's okay," I said. "They're rats. Don't you remember anything I told you about New York?" The worst part about this dimly lit maze was that the only thing at the end was a great example of pathetic fallacy: a rainstorm.
Taipei Zoo: A-
The more I see, the more I like. Anything that keeps my class entertained for a day when I don't have to is A-OK in my book. Still to come in the Taipei Zoo Report Card series: The Penguin House, Amphibian and Reptile House, and the Bird House.
pictures of animals and my little kiddies from Zoo Round Two (just found out- the zoom function on my pic page is pretty cool.)
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Thursday, May 21, 2009
Lights... camera... action!
...well, minus the lights. And the action. So with no lights or action, what do we need a camera for anyway?
So apparently even in Taiwan you need to pay your electric bill in order to ensure the output of electricity. Also, hopefully at this point not to anyone's surprise, the bills are in Chinese. Goodbye lights and action.
Assuming everyone has seen the movie "Office Space," (if you haven't: shame on you. If you're lucky, Blockbuster is still open. Go.) our power outage resulted in what played out to be exactly the "TPS report memo" situation. Once the news got around that Mike and I were having romantic candlelit evenings, here are some of the conversations we had at school...
"Do you know where your mailbox is?"
"Yeah, we check the mail pretty much everyday. We just don't think we got the bill."
"Okay. Because the bills usually come in the mail."
"Do you check your mail?"
"Yep. Our mailbox is empty, but we can't read Chinese."
"Okay. Maybe we'll send somebody over to help you check your mail."
"Do you know how to check your mail?"
"Yeah...we do. I checked today. Empty."
"Really. The bills come in the mail, so you have to make sure you check your mail and pay them."
...we'll make sure you get another copy of that memo.
to see me in a rice-picker hat, click here.
to read about David in Taipei City, click here.
.
So apparently even in Taiwan you need to pay your electric bill in order to ensure the output of electricity. Also, hopefully at this point not to anyone's surprise, the bills are in Chinese. Goodbye lights and action.
Assuming everyone has seen the movie "Office Space," (if you haven't: shame on you. If you're lucky, Blockbuster is still open. Go.) our power outage resulted in what played out to be exactly the "TPS report memo" situation. Once the news got around that Mike and I were having romantic candlelit evenings, here are some of the conversations we had at school...
"Do you know where your mailbox is?"
"Yeah, we check the mail pretty much everyday. We just don't think we got the bill."
"Okay. Because the bills usually come in the mail."
"Do you check your mail?"
"Yep. Our mailbox is empty, but we can't read Chinese."
"Okay. Maybe we'll send somebody over to help you check your mail."
"Do you know how to check your mail?"
"Yeah...we do. I checked today. Empty."
"Really. The bills come in the mail, so you have to make sure you check your mail and pay them."
...we'll make sure you get another copy of that memo.
to see me in a rice-picker hat, click here.
to read about David in Taipei City, click here.
.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I <3 Taiwan
After a lovely afternoon of hot springs in Xinbeitou and a delicious "Garlic Fry Pork" dinner in Taipei, I boarded the train home to Shijr. We were packed like sardines into the train car, and the young Taiwanese gentleman in front of me happened to be wearing the classic "I ♥ NY" T-shirt.
Mike and I decided that I should tell him I am from New York. The conversation went something like this:
[Train moves abruptly and the boy falls into me. I catch him.]
J(ohnny): It's a good thing you love New York or I wouldn't have caught you!
B(oy): [smiles]
J: [pointing to the boy's shirt] I like your shirt. I'm from New York. [pulls out driver's license and points to "New York."]
B: [smiles] New York is very good. [thumbs up]
J: Taiwan is very good too [thumbs up]. I wish I had an "I love Taiwan" shirt.
B:[smiles]
[I happened to not only be wearing a plain white tee, but I also had a neat little pen with, not one, but four colors! Mike created a masterpiece on my chest...]
In order to show my respect and appreciation, I diplomatically returned the cross-ocean compliment. Together, as ambassadors for our respective countries, we shook hands, posed for pictures, chatted for a little while, and pretty much exhausted his English vocabulary. He likes baseball, particularly the New York Yankees, but even more particularly Chen Ming Wan. He also liked my chest muscles (which I was thrusting forward for the picture).
.
Mike and I decided that I should tell him I am from New York. The conversation went something like this:
[Train moves abruptly and the boy falls into me. I catch him.]
J(ohnny): It's a good thing you love New York or I wouldn't have caught you!
B(oy): [smiles]
J: [pointing to the boy's shirt] I like your shirt. I'm from New York. [pulls out driver's license and points to "New York."]
B: [smiles] New York is very good. [thumbs up]
J: Taiwan is very good too [thumbs up]. I wish I had an "I love Taiwan" shirt.
B:[smiles]
[I happened to not only be wearing a plain white tee, but I also had a neat little pen with, not one, but four colors! Mike created a masterpiece on my chest...]
In order to show my respect and appreciation, I diplomatically returned the cross-ocean compliment. Together, as ambassadors for our respective countries, we shook hands, posed for pictures, chatted for a little while, and pretty much exhausted his English vocabulary. He likes baseball, particularly the New York Yankees, but even more particularly Chen Ming Wan. He also liked my chest muscles (which I was thrusting forward for the picture).
.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Taipei Zoo Report Card (Part 1)
(photo update)
Here's a challenge: go to a zoo for 1 hour and try to find animals that don't suck.
Over the weekend, I went to Taipei Zoo with Mike and B. A late start got us there just before 4:00 pm, which is when they stop letting people in. The Zoo closes at 5:00, so we had about 1 hour to see as many animals as we could.
After we coughed up $60 NT, roughly 1.84 USD or 24.16 Mexican Pesos, we tried to map out the best route for seeing the "cool" animals, what we later decided were the ones from Africa. To sum up our trip I've decided to grade each exhibit.
Giant Panda: B
This is generous grade. I only managed 3 pictures because I was being herded quickly through the exhibit. They get points for just being cool animals. (Q: What did the Panda say to the Polar Bear? A: You shoulda seen the other guy!)
Everything in the Nocturnal House: F
Advice for zoo-goers: if you only have 1 hour to look at animals, skip the Nocturnal House. It's lame. Nocturnal animals are proof of evolution, because they're the animals nobody wants to see in the light. Nobody wants to see raccoons and field mice. Ever. Especially not at a zoo. We wasted 5 minutes trying to grope our way to the exits.
Camels: B+
Camels, you're alright. Nothing beats a field full of camel-toes. Especially when they've got the zookeepers spendin' all their money on 'em.
Hippos: A
For being fat with stumpy legs, you sure do kill a lot of people per year. And that thing where only your nostrils and eyes come out of the water is pretty cool, too. One of the few animals at the zoo that actually move.
Zebras: B
Like a horse, but not boring. This is one animal that makes you wonder "How did that happen?" Fortunately we got there right at half-time so we were able to get a few photos.
Rhinos: B-
Extra points for the built in weapon. Minus points for using your face as a kickstand to help you sleep while standing up while I'm trying to extract optimal cool-ness from the zoo. One of their faces was right in a pile of droppings. He'll probably wake up hungry.
Lions: A
I have a soft spot for lions, mostly because of The Lion King. No males on display, but at least Nala and Sarabi weren't inside the den nagging.
Giraffes: B
They were lying in the grass and not eating the highest leaves off the trees, which would be the ideal image to go along with my expectations. But long necks are cool, especially for animals with malodorous hooves.
Animals that resemble deer: D
There are a bunch of animals lumped into this category. Which is why they only get a D, because they aren't very unique. Curly horns, pointy horns, stubby horns, whatever. Do something productive with your life, like invest in a glowing nose.
Ostrich: A-
The ostrich found a hole in the pen and stared at us for quite awhile. It was a special moment. Come back when you can fly and you'll see that A- turn into an A+.
Gorilla: F
MIA
Assorted monkeys: C-
Chimps were MIA and the other monkeys flung too much poo at their Plexiglas windows so we could barely see anything.
Taipei Zoo: B+
Lots of (surprisingly correct) informative English. It's not the biggest zoo in the world, but for the price of 4000 ml of green tea, or two pieces of delicious fried chicken from the street vendor, or a piece of cake and a chocolate milk, how can you be disappointed? This review is 75% incomplete, as we pretty much only saw African animals. Perhaps one day I will pick up where I left off and finish the Taipei Zoo report card.
Here's a challenge: go to a zoo for 1 hour and try to find animals that don't suck.
Over the weekend, I went to Taipei Zoo with Mike and B. A late start got us there just before 4:00 pm, which is when they stop letting people in. The Zoo closes at 5:00, so we had about 1 hour to see as many animals as we could.
After we coughed up $60 NT, roughly 1.84 USD or 24.16 Mexican Pesos, we tried to map out the best route for seeing the "cool" animals, what we later decided were the ones from Africa. To sum up our trip I've decided to grade each exhibit.
Giant Panda: B
This is generous grade. I only managed 3 pictures because I was being herded quickly through the exhibit. They get points for just being cool animals. (Q: What did the Panda say to the Polar Bear? A: You shoulda seen the other guy!)
Everything in the Nocturnal House: F
Advice for zoo-goers: if you only have 1 hour to look at animals, skip the Nocturnal House. It's lame. Nocturnal animals are proof of evolution, because they're the animals nobody wants to see in the light. Nobody wants to see raccoons and field mice. Ever. Especially not at a zoo. We wasted 5 minutes trying to grope our way to the exits.
Camels: B+
Camels, you're alright. Nothing beats a field full of camel-toes. Especially when they've got the zookeepers spendin' all their money on 'em.
Hippos: A
For being fat with stumpy legs, you sure do kill a lot of people per year. And that thing where only your nostrils and eyes come out of the water is pretty cool, too. One of the few animals at the zoo that actually move.
Zebras: B
Like a horse, but not boring. This is one animal that makes you wonder "How did that happen?" Fortunately we got there right at half-time so we were able to get a few photos.
Rhinos: B-
Extra points for the built in weapon. Minus points for using your face as a kickstand to help you sleep while standing up while I'm trying to extract optimal cool-ness from the zoo. One of their faces was right in a pile of droppings. He'll probably wake up hungry.
Lions: A
I have a soft spot for lions, mostly because of The Lion King. No males on display, but at least Nala and Sarabi weren't inside the den nagging.
Giraffes: B
They were lying in the grass and not eating the highest leaves off the trees, which would be the ideal image to go along with my expectations. But long necks are cool, especially for animals with malodorous hooves.
Animals that resemble deer: D
There are a bunch of animals lumped into this category. Which is why they only get a D, because they aren't very unique. Curly horns, pointy horns, stubby horns, whatever. Do something productive with your life, like invest in a glowing nose.
Ostrich: A-
The ostrich found a hole in the pen and stared at us for quite awhile. It was a special moment. Come back when you can fly and you'll see that A- turn into an A+.
Gorilla: F
MIA
Assorted monkeys: C-
Chimps were MIA and the other monkeys flung too much poo at their Plexiglas windows so we could barely see anything.
Taipei Zoo: B+
Lots of (surprisingly correct) informative English. It's not the biggest zoo in the world, but for the price of 4000 ml of green tea, or two pieces of delicious fried chicken from the street vendor, or a piece of cake and a chocolate milk, how can you be disappointed? This review is 75% incomplete, as we pretty much only saw African animals. Perhaps one day I will pick up where I left off and finish the Taipei Zoo report card.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Is this the year?
For some, the hockey season may be over. For others, their most important game is still waiting for them.
For the less informed reader: I am a big ice hockey fan. To the point where I was getting up at 7:30 in the morning here to sometimes only watch scores refresh every 30 seconds. It's a far cry from the atmosphere at a real game, but it's about all I can do in a country where it's hard to grow ice.
Last weekend however, Mike and I caught wind of an actual ice hockey game taking place in Taipei City. At the grand Taipei Arena, which is only a few blocks from the hotel I lived in for the first month, there were two match-ups set for that night to decide the two teams that were going to the CIHL finals. Not only could I go to watch hockey (for free!), but playoff hockey! For those of you waiting for me to get homesick, this news set that date back a little bit.
I had absolute minimal expectations for this game. I half pictured me and Mike to be the only ones there. Inside Taipei Arena, we walked around and passed a Starbucks where a man was talking to a small group of other guys, saying things like, "I don't want this to be the last game we play this season. I like playing you guys." This team was clearly on the brink of elimination, and we could smell the desperation. It had a hint cinnamon spice mocha.
We took our seats in a slowly filling arena. There were already more people than I expected. Watching the teams warm-up, we decided we needed a team to root for and we landed on the Raptors, whose jerseys were cooler than their opponents, the Lions.
The puck dropped and they were on their way. The game was filled with breakaways and amazing saves, power plays, and they even threw t-shirts into the stands. Our Raptors cruised to a 4-2 victory and a chance for the championship. One of the highlights? Bob.
Bob, of the Hsinchu Raptors, had a fan club. When we arrived at the game, we saw a bunch of fans shuffling in with signs reading "Bob is #1!" and things of that sort. Most of the people were young Taiwanese children, who we assumed were Bob's students. All game long they were giving Bob love. After the game, a victorius Bob stepped off the ice and was mobbed by his adoring fans/students. It was cute as hell, and became a goal of mine for my tenure in Taiwan. Let's go Bob!
Tonight the Raptors are playing the Wolves in the game 3 rubber-match of the finals for all the marbles. I think I'm going to the game to support my boys tonight. Go Raptors!
(more pics from the game(s) soon on my Picasa page)
**Update** The Hsinchu Raptors are the 2008-2009 CIHL Champions after taking it to the Taipei Wolves, beating them by a score of 7-4
.
For the less informed reader: I am a big ice hockey fan. To the point where I was getting up at 7:30 in the morning here to sometimes only watch scores refresh every 30 seconds. It's a far cry from the atmosphere at a real game, but it's about all I can do in a country where it's hard to grow ice.
Last weekend however, Mike and I caught wind of an actual ice hockey game taking place in Taipei City. At the grand Taipei Arena, which is only a few blocks from the hotel I lived in for the first month, there were two match-ups set for that night to decide the two teams that were going to the CIHL finals. Not only could I go to watch hockey (for free!), but playoff hockey! For those of you waiting for me to get homesick, this news set that date back a little bit.
I had absolute minimal expectations for this game. I half pictured me and Mike to be the only ones there. Inside Taipei Arena, we walked around and passed a Starbucks where a man was talking to a small group of other guys, saying things like, "I don't want this to be the last game we play this season. I like playing you guys." This team was clearly on the brink of elimination, and we could smell the desperation. It had a hint cinnamon spice mocha.
We took our seats in a slowly filling arena. There were already more people than I expected. Watching the teams warm-up, we decided we needed a team to root for and we landed on the Raptors, whose jerseys were cooler than their opponents, the Lions.
The puck dropped and they were on their way. The game was filled with breakaways and amazing saves, power plays, and they even threw t-shirts into the stands. Our Raptors cruised to a 4-2 victory and a chance for the championship. One of the highlights? Bob.
Bob, of the Hsinchu Raptors, had a fan club. When we arrived at the game, we saw a bunch of fans shuffling in with signs reading "Bob is #1!" and things of that sort. Most of the people were young Taiwanese children, who we assumed were Bob's students. All game long they were giving Bob love. After the game, a victorius Bob stepped off the ice and was mobbed by his adoring fans/students. It was cute as hell, and became a goal of mine for my tenure in Taiwan. Let's go Bob!
Tonight the Raptors are playing the Wolves in the game 3 rubber-match of the finals for all the marbles. I think I'm going to the game to support my boys tonight. Go Raptors!
(more pics from the game(s) soon on my Picasa page)
**Update** The Hsinchu Raptors are the 2008-2009 CIHL Champions after taking it to the Taipei Wolves, beating them by a score of 7-4
.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Important Information
Dear World-
Having won over your readership has been a great honor for me. While I do hope that I entertain, I also hope that by some indirect way I can inform. While the latter goal often gets pushed aside, I do have a solution:
As some of you recall in conversations with me, I found explaining the Taiwan-China relationship rather tricky and confusing. And others still insist on asking me "How's China?" My answer: I don't know, I've never been. I'm in Taiwan.
As a small favor, please follow this link to a short article about the history and current political status of Taiwan relative to the rest of the world. Written by a certain Alfredo Sennhauser, the article is a clear and articulate up-to-date summary of Taiwan. I hope that many of y
ou will find it interesting, as it is important to unmask the often distorted history of this beautiful island.
I thank you in advance for taking the time to enlighten yourself by reading this article. The truth will set you free.
Keep checking back for more posts - I have a list of stories I want to tell! I also put up a few new pictures of a Taipei City sunset. Enjoy!
.
Having won over your readership has been a great honor for me. While I do hope that I entertain, I also hope that by some indirect way I can inform. While the latter goal often gets pushed aside, I do have a solution:
As some of you recall in conversations with me, I found explaining the Taiwan-China relationship rather tricky and confusing. And others still insist on asking me "How's China?" My answer: I don't know, I've never been. I'm in Taiwan.
As a small favor, please follow this link to a short article about the history and current political status of Taiwan relative to the rest of the world. Written by a certain Alfredo Sennhauser, the article is a clear and articulate up-to-date summary of Taiwan. I hope that many of y
ou will find it interesting, as it is important to unmask the often distorted history of this beautiful island.I thank you in advance for taking the time to enlighten yourself by reading this article. The truth will set you free.
Keep checking back for more posts - I have a list of stories I want to tell! I also put up a few new pictures of a Taipei City sunset. Enjoy!
.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I only wear Korean shoes
After deciding to get a breath of fresh air and maybe some tea with boba in it (which is really good by the way. Its got jelly balls and I like to chew it), Mike and I stepped out of the school to walk around the block. Immediately after exiting, we saw a Taiwanese man standing on the corner with a handful of pamphlets. In any city in the States, this activates a reflex to pretend like you are reading a sign on the opposite side of the street in order to avoid being guilted into taking an advertisement. In Taiwan however, while these birdcage-lining distributors are not hard to find, I don't have pretend these people don't exist. They see my skin and avoid me like the plague, not having the patience to try to explain to a foreigner about the incredible sale they are having at their store around the corner. Normally I walk by unscathed.
But not this guy. He saw me and Mike and smiled as he trotted up to us with two pamphlets in his outstretched arm.
"Do yoo wan Korean shoes?" He was obviously very excited to speak English to us, so I took the piece of paper hanging inches from my face and looked at it. For what? I don't know. I saw some numbers. "We Korean shoes," he insisted.
"Are they better than other kinds of shoes?" Mike asked. It was about that time that I noticed a number on the paper: 150 NTD, roughly $5 US.
"That's pretty cheap for shoes." I looked down at the man's shoes. "Are those Korean shoes?"
"No, no-"
"How can you try to sell us Korean shoes if you don't even wear them? That's not a good marketing strategy."
"Korean shoes!" He started moving his hand back and forth quickly in a scrubbing motion. Of course, only then did it all make sense.
"You want to clean our shoes?"
"Yes, yes! We korean shoes. Very cheap!" He even offered to korean my shoelaces and said he could lace them up exactly the way they are now. I tried to get a job weaving shoelaces, but no dice. We eventually told the man, "no thanks," we can korean our own shoes and walked away.
Moral of the story? Talk to strangers.
.
But not this guy. He saw me and Mike and smiled as he trotted up to us with two pamphlets in his outstretched arm.
"Do yoo wan Korean shoes?" He was obviously very excited to speak English to us, so I took the piece of paper hanging inches from my face and looked at it. For what? I don't know. I saw some numbers. "We Korean shoes," he insisted.
"Are they better than other kinds of shoes?" Mike asked. It was about that time that I noticed a number on the paper: 150 NTD, roughly $5 US.
"That's pretty cheap for shoes." I looked down at the man's shoes. "Are those Korean shoes?"
"No, no-"
"How can you try to sell us Korean shoes if you don't even wear them? That's not a good marketing strategy."
"Korean shoes!" He started moving his hand back and forth quickly in a scrubbing motion. Of course, only then did it all make sense.
"You want to clean our shoes?"
"Yes, yes! We korean shoes. Very cheap!" He even offered to korean my shoelaces and said he could lace them up exactly the way they are now. I tried to get a job weaving shoelaces, but no dice. We eventually told the man, "no thanks," we can korean our own shoes and walked away.
Moral of the story? Talk to strangers.
.
Monday, April 20, 2009
"Quote-unquote"
To read the title aloud, you'd have to say "quote, quote-unquote, unquote," which then leads to an endless amount of quoting, which is a bit of a mouthful. I was thinking today that quotes are very important. I mean that in two ways:
Quotes are important because saying...
I'm singing singing in the rain in the rain.
...makes no sense. But if you say...
I'm singing "singing in the rain" in the rain.
...it becomes a little clearer. Quotes, as you can see, are important.
Quotes, in the sense of the word referring to things other people have said, are just as important. To quote somebody means that you have at some point absorbed a nugget of knowledge about that person. After all, and I quote, "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."1 People use quotes often, and not just for research, but for inspiration. People live by quotes, and quite frankly, for the amount of time that the concept of language has been around, by now everything we say is a quote. If you can't find the words to say, the chances are someone else has said it already, and in more eloquent rhetoric. Naysayers will say, "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them,"2 and will I say, "Aha! You fool!"
The dumbfounded stallion will stand there perplexed, not being able to think of anything original to retort.
"You see, my friend," I will say. "'Originality is the art of concealing your sources.'3 It worked for Shakespeare, 'after all, all he did was string together a lot of old well-known quotations.'4"
__________________________________________________________________
Concealed Sources:
1 Wilson Mizner
2 Samuel Palmer
3 Unknown (ironic, eh?)
4 H.L. Mencken
Quotes are important because saying...
I'm singing singing in the rain in the rain.
...makes no sense. But if you say...
I'm singing "singing in the rain" in the rain.
...it becomes a little clearer. Quotes, as you can see, are important.
Quotes, in the sense of the word referring to things other people have said, are just as important. To quote somebody means that you have at some point absorbed a nugget of knowledge about that person. After all, and I quote, "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."1 People use quotes often, and not just for research, but for inspiration. People live by quotes, and quite frankly, for the amount of time that the concept of language has been around, by now everything we say is a quote. If you can't find the words to say, the chances are someone else has said it already, and in more eloquent rhetoric. Naysayers will say, "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them,"2 and will I say, "Aha! You fool!"
The dumbfounded stallion will stand there perplexed, not being able to think of anything original to retort.
"You see, my friend," I will say. "'Originality is the art of concealing your sources.'3 It worked for Shakespeare, 'after all, all he did was string together a lot of old well-known quotations.'4"
__________________________________________________________________
Concealed Sources:
1 Wilson Mizner
2 Samuel Palmer
3 Unknown (ironic, eh?)
4 H.L. Mencken
Friday, April 17, 2009
Almost Famous
...or "The Time I Almost Lost a Kidney"
Last weekend I went into Taipei City for the night. I started off at a New Zealand burger joint and ended up at a South African bar/meat pie store. Meeting up with Mike, my Canadian roommate, and B, my South African roommate, and Fred, my Taiwanese friend, we were a melting pot with no assimilation required. After a few TBs (Taiwan Beer) and a couple brandy and cokes, the four of us, plus a peculiar collection of South Africans, were talking like old friends about everything: the joys of teaching, how great Taiwan is, the dangers of smoking, and Chinese birth chart compatibility. However, it soon became time to go to Shilin night market.
It's really hard to do justice to the Shilin night market through description; it's more of an atmosphere you have to breathe and take in. In between two MRT stops, there are hundreds of food stalls, clothing shops on wheels, knick knackerys, carnival games, and so on, all crammed together. They've got belts, and sneakers, and trucker hats galore. Fried chicken, rice noodles, chicken feet and more! It is a culture explosion, contained in a relatively small portion of the city, with a nightly attendance of thousands. As the night progresses, it gets harder and harder to walk through the densely packed alleys. Even if only for a late night snack, the buzz at Shilin night market is worth the trip.
So here we are, Mike, B, a guy Shaun, and I, weaving our way through the crowd. All of a sudden a young man stopped us. "Hey have you guys ever done any commercial acting before?" With a party of four, we defeated the odds- none of us had. "Well I'm actually a casting agent and I'm looking for a white male, kind of sporty with blue eyes to do a bubble gum commercial." I looked around. I had the only blue eyes for miles.
"I'm white!" I exclaimed. "I like sports, too! And I have blue eyes!"
"Yeah, thats great. They are casting tomorrow near SYS Memorial MRT station between 2-5. Take my card, call my phone when you want to go so I can make sure I'm there."
One taxi ride, a few hours of sleep, a headache, and a shower later... Should I call this guy? Eh, why not? Inspired by Josambro, Dave and I have sort of a competition to see who can get famous in Taiwan first. To my understanding, this commercial was for television, so I would be everywhere. So I called. "They're going to do a quick photo shoot, and maybe have you say a few lines while pretending to ride a bike or surf or something."
I got off the MRT and was picked up by a scooter. Being the passenger on a scooter is a very intimate experience. We zipped around town, and when we pulled down a not-so-public street, I started to get worried. I value my kidneys. I entered a small office and was directed to a room with two giant lights pointed at a blank wall. I stood in the spotlights and posed, turned around slowly, and gave a brief introduction. The camera's shutter snapped furiously. I started observing weird things, like how many exits there were and what could potentially be used as a weapon. I couldn't remember if they offered me anything to drink...
The whole operation only lasted about 5 minutes and I was awake for the whole thing (the photo shoot). I was scootered back to the MRT and told that they'd get back to me by Wednesday. Turns out I didn't get the part, "the director changed the requirements for the character." I'd sure like to meet this whiter, sportier, more blue-eyed chump who happens to be in Taiwan.
Last weekend I went into Taipei City for the night. I started off at a New Zealand burger joint and ended up at a South African bar/meat pie store. Meeting up with Mike, my Canadian roommate, and B, my South African roommate, and Fred, my Taiwanese friend, we were a melting pot with no assimilation required. After a few TBs (Taiwan Beer) and a couple brandy and cokes, the four of us, plus a peculiar collection of South Africans, were talking like old friends about everything: the joys of teaching, how great Taiwan is, the dangers of smoking, and Chinese birth chart compatibility. However, it soon became time to go to Shilin night market.
It's really hard to do justice to the Shilin night market through description; it's more of an atmosphere you have to breathe and take in. In between two MRT stops, there are hundreds of food stalls, clothing shops on wheels, knick knackerys, carnival games, and so on, all crammed together. They've got belts, and sneakers, and trucker hats galore. Fried chicken, rice noodles, chicken feet and more! It is a culture explosion, contained in a relatively small portion of the city, with a nightly attendance of thousands. As the night progresses, it gets harder and harder to walk through the densely packed alleys. Even if only for a late night snack, the buzz at Shilin night market is worth the trip.
So here we are, Mike, B, a guy Shaun, and I, weaving our way through the crowd. All of a sudden a young man stopped us. "Hey have you guys ever done any commercial acting before?" With a party of four, we defeated the odds- none of us had. "Well I'm actually a casting agent and I'm looking for a white male, kind of sporty with blue eyes to do a bubble gum commercial." I looked around. I had the only blue eyes for miles.
"I'm white!" I exclaimed. "I like sports, too! And I have blue eyes!"
"Yeah, thats great. They are casting tomorrow near SYS Memorial MRT station between 2-5. Take my card, call my phone when you want to go so I can make sure I'm there."
One taxi ride, a few hours of sleep, a headache, and a shower later... Should I call this guy? Eh, why not? Inspired by Josambro, Dave and I have sort of a competition to see who can get famous in Taiwan first. To my understanding, this commercial was for television, so I would be everywhere. So I called. "They're going to do a quick photo shoot, and maybe have you say a few lines while pretending to ride a bike or surf or something."
I got off the MRT and was picked up by a scooter. Being the passenger on a scooter is a very intimate experience. We zipped around town, and when we pulled down a not-so-public street, I started to get worried. I value my kidneys. I entered a small office and was directed to a room with two giant lights pointed at a blank wall. I stood in the spotlights and posed, turned around slowly, and gave a brief introduction. The camera's shutter snapped furiously. I started observing weird things, like how many exits there were and what could potentially be used as a weapon. I couldn't remember if they offered me anything to drink...
The whole operation only lasted about 5 minutes and I was awake for the whole thing (the photo shoot). I was scootered back to the MRT and told that they'd get back to me by Wednesday. Turns out I didn't get the part, "the director changed the requirements for the character." I'd sure like to meet this whiter, sportier, more blue-eyed chump who happens to be in Taiwan.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Do NOT try this abroad
It's not really fair to try to convince you that everything over here is easy as pie. You'd be silly to believe it, anyway. I've been twelve timezones away from my home for a whole month, I speak the bare minimum of the native language, and for awhile, I didn't have a cell phone. If only Dave was black, I'd have 90% of a comedy screenplay written. But Hollywood or not, with these ingredients, something was bad was bound to brew. Let's turn back a few pages, right at the part where I thought I knew Taipei City like the back of my hand...
I had received an email from Julie, my agent, with the time and location of my initial interview so she could begin pimping me out to the best schools in Taiwan as soon at possible. 3:00 pm? Keelung Road? Section 1? XinYi District? Shoot, that's right near Taipei 101, and I had been there once in my life. Not to mention I'm practically best friends with a guy who knew a guy whose brother dated a girl's cousin whose grandfather worked for the friend of a civil engineer that helped design the road system in Taiwan. All that means is that I was ready to brave Taipei City without a map. Word of advice: do not try this abroad.
I got off the subway, came up from underground and surveyed the scene. After a few weeks in Taiwan, it turns out that I have an above average sense of direction. I gauged the wind and started walking in the estimated direction towards my destination. I checked my watch; and because I planned to have a time cushion, I had about 25 minutes until my interview. Strolling along, confidently making lefts and rights at seemingly appropriate places, I started to get a little nervous. I had a few street names stored in my memory that I knew exactly what to do upon seeing them, but it had been 10 minutes and I hadn't seen any of them, which was a problem. I looked around and saw that I was in the shadow of the tallest building in the world, looming above me in all its collosal glory. At the next corner there was a map.
Aha! I was walking the wrong direction! I walked in another direction for a few minutes before I started to get the feeling that I was still not headed the right way. It happened to be that I was at the base of Taipei 101.I knew the compass direction from Taipei 101 to my interview, but an unfortunate fact about Taipei is that it glows. That is, there is always a very thick layer of smog and/or rainclouds covering the sun, giving the city a fluorescent light effect. No shadows, no distinct source of light. I found another map on a corner. Within the next 10 or so minutes, I had graduated from a casual, confident walk, to an "oh no, I have 2 seconds left to cross the street" sprint. The occasional map on the corner was like finding pit stops in The Amazing Race, and I said a silent prayer before approaching each one, hoping that the "You are Here" bubble was closer to Julie than the last one. The minutes ticked by, 3:00 came and went, and frustration and panic ensued, accompanying an already existing large amount of perspiration, fast running, and a cornucopia of curses (FYI- there is an automatic 2 points added for every use of the word "cornucopia" in everyday conversation).
Naturally, I blame two things other than the stupidity of not bringing a map: Keelung Road stops being Keelung Road for awhile. It turns into another road that brings you to a place that is not Keelung Road. What's up with that? And the other thing: North is not always "up" on the maps on the street. I was used to reading maps that followed a universal, logical pattern, so I was making lefts that should have been turn around, go 3 blocks and make a rights.
Sure enough, I made it to my interview, and only 15 minutes late at that (Julie was very understanding*). Let this be a lesson to Taiwan-goers: always write down the address in Chinese, always carry a map, never say "near a 7-Eleven" as a serious point of reference, and never assume Up is North.
*considering she told me her office was on the 13th floor and the elevator only went up to 12. Talk about a panic attack to interrupt the sigh relief when I found the building...
I had received an email from Julie, my agent, with the time and location of my initial interview so she could begin pimping me out to the best schools in Taiwan as soon at possible. 3:00 pm? Keelung Road? Section 1? XinYi District? Shoot, that's right near Taipei 101, and I had been there once in my life. Not to mention I'm practically best friends with a guy who knew a guy whose brother dated a girl's cousin whose grandfather worked for the friend of a civil engineer that helped design the road system in Taiwan. All that means is that I was ready to brave Taipei City without a map. Word of advice: do not try this abroad.
I got off the subway, came up from underground and surveyed the scene. After a few weeks in Taiwan, it turns out that I have an above average sense of direction. I gauged the wind and started walking in the estimated direction towards my destination. I checked my watch; and because I planned to have a time cushion, I had about 25 minutes until my interview. Strolling along, confidently making lefts and rights at seemingly appropriate places, I started to get a little nervous. I had a few street names stored in my memory that I knew exactly what to do upon seeing them, but it had been 10 minutes and I hadn't seen any of them, which was a problem. I looked around and saw that I was in the shadow of the tallest building in the world, looming above me in all its collosal glory. At the next corner there was a map.
Aha! I was walking the wrong direction! I walked in another direction for a few minutes before I started to get the feeling that I was still not headed the right way. It happened to be that I was at the base of Taipei 101.I knew the compass direction from Taipei 101 to my interview, but an unfortunate fact about Taipei is that it glows. That is, there is always a very thick layer of smog and/or rainclouds covering the sun, giving the city a fluorescent light effect. No shadows, no distinct source of light. I found another map on a corner. Within the next 10 or so minutes, I had graduated from a casual, confident walk, to an "oh no, I have 2 seconds left to cross the street" sprint. The occasional map on the corner was like finding pit stops in The Amazing Race, and I said a silent prayer before approaching each one, hoping that the "You are Here" bubble was closer to Julie than the last one. The minutes ticked by, 3:00 came and went, and frustration and panic ensued, accompanying an already existing large amount of perspiration, fast running, and a cornucopia of curses (FYI- there is an automatic 2 points added for every use of the word "cornucopia" in everyday conversation).
Naturally, I blame two things other than the stupidity of not bringing a map: Keelung Road stops being Keelung Road for awhile. It turns into another road that brings you to a place that is not Keelung Road. What's up with that? And the other thing: North is not always "up" on the maps on the street. I was used to reading maps that followed a universal, logical pattern, so I was making lefts that should have been turn around, go 3 blocks and make a rights.
Sure enough, I made it to my interview, and only 15 minutes late at that (Julie was very understanding*). Let this be a lesson to Taiwan-goers: always write down the address in Chinese, always carry a map, never say "near a 7-Eleven" as a serious point of reference, and never assume Up is North.
*considering she told me her office was on the 13th floor and the elevator only went up to 12. Talk about a panic attack to interrupt the sigh relief when I found the building...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
A serendipitous reflection
I really wonder if there is some mysterious force that floats through the air, channeling thoughts and emotions, connecting minds in contemplation. Have you ever been thinking about something in a specific way, and then someone around you recites your thoughts in such a way that it seems more impossible that they didn't read your mind than if they claimed to have done so. The eerie lack of an even miniscule connection between coincidences often drives me mad. In a few instances I've wondered if I have a habit of thinking out loud, and I've toiled with the idea that I am an ESP prodigy and that I have some supernatural force surrounding me, connecting me to the minds around me.
The population of Taipei City is well over 2.5 million people, who are spread out over 272 square kilometers. On Monday March 30th, I knew exactly 5 people in the city, including Dave. On my way to an interview at 8:00 AM, I was walking through Taipei Main Station, which is the hub terminal for the MRT, the TRA (Taiwan Railway Administration), and the HSR (High Speed Railroad). Basically the Taiwan equivalent to Penn and/or Grand Central station at rush hour in the morning.
Sure enough, in the midst of the three-floor hustle bustle of Taiwanese commuters, I crossed paths with one of the people I know. Perhaps an insignificant part of my day, but I don't stop thinking about these things. Ever. Had I let one more person squeeze in front of me on the escalator, had I stopped to tie my shoe, traveled in a different car on the MRT, or even been looking in the opposite direction to try to find where I needed to be, I would have walked right past him. We would have been 10 feet from each other, but we would never have known.
While it would not be very undesirable for many people, you can probably trace almost everything in your life back to a 5-second window of oppurtunity that led to it. The people you've met, or even scarier, what about the people you haven't met? It's fascinating how many life paths could have been, or already have been, altered by a seemingly insubstantial amount of time.
Next post: video of a bunch of stoners and some religious fanatics discussing the butterfly effect and the idea of "fate."
The population of Taipei City is well over 2.5 million people, who are spread out over 272 square kilometers. On Monday March 30th, I knew exactly 5 people in the city, including Dave. On my way to an interview at 8:00 AM, I was walking through Taipei Main Station, which is the hub terminal for the MRT, the TRA (Taiwan Railway Administration), and the HSR (High Speed Railroad). Basically the Taiwan equivalent to Penn and/or Grand Central station at rush hour in the morning.
Sure enough, in the midst of the three-floor hustle bustle of Taiwanese commuters, I crossed paths with one of the people I know. Perhaps an insignificant part of my day, but I don't stop thinking about these things. Ever. Had I let one more person squeeze in front of me on the escalator, had I stopped to tie my shoe, traveled in a different car on the MRT, or even been looking in the opposite direction to try to find where I needed to be, I would have walked right past him. We would have been 10 feet from each other, but we would never have known.
While it would not be very undesirable for many people, you can probably trace almost everything in your life back to a 5-second window of oppurtunity that led to it. The people you've met, or even scarier, what about the people you haven't met? It's fascinating how many life paths could have been, or already have been, altered by a seemingly insubstantial amount of time.
Next post: video of a bunch of stoners and some religious fanatics discussing the butterfly effect and the idea of "fate."
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Hao, hao
At my school, all of the teachers are referred to as Teacher [first name]. For the past two days, I have been sitting in on a few classes for observations as part of my training. Even though I only sit in the back corner of the classroom on a miniature chair with my knees at my chin, the kids seem to if not like me, at least be curious about me. They hug me, climb me, give me stickers and throw bouncy balls to me. They want to know my favorite color, how old I am, where I am from, what my favorite food is. Granted, a majority of these questions are spoon(chopstick?) fed by their everyday teachers, but you can't expect a five-year-old Taiwanese boy to be able to come up with interview questions. Reciting it, comprehending my answers, and formulating an appropriate response is more than enough to impress me.
"Teacher John, why are your eyes blue?"
This question came to me in between classes, as I was smelling kids' hands for soap to make sure they washed for twenty seconds after using the bathroom.
I need to come up with a good answer for that, seeing as how it's the second time a kid has asked about my eyes (the first one was asked to another teacher). Do I tell them I am sick? Do I have superpowers? Should I act like I didn't know, then when I look in the mirror should I scream and try to wash them out?
Food for thought: It's amazing how similar boredom and procrastination are. I do the same mindless activities whether I have nothing to do or everything to do.
"Teacher John, why are your eyes blue?"
This question came to me in between classes, as I was smelling kids' hands for soap to make sure they washed for twenty seconds after using the bathroom.
I need to come up with a good answer for that, seeing as how it's the second time a kid has asked about my eyes (the first one was asked to another teacher). Do I tell them I am sick? Do I have superpowers? Should I act like I didn't know, then when I look in the mirror should I scream and try to wash them out?
Food for thought: It's amazing how similar boredom and procrastination are. I do the same mindless activities whether I have nothing to do or everything to do.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Chapter 2: Xizhi
I guess it's about time I let all 7 of my faithful followers know whats been going on in my life for the past week or so.
Little known fact: about 2 weeks ago I looked up the price for a plane ticket home. When we got here, we found out that the Global Economic Plunge, or GEP if you will (yeah, I just made that up), had apparently taken its toll on Taiwan just weeks before we landed. Due to the GEP, there have been many language school closings, leaving a surplus of Unemployed English Teachers, or as I like to call, UETs, a population of which I was recently representing. As many of you know, as a UET, I've spent the majority of my time going to door to door to any places that appeared to be language schools, distributing my resume and warning the unaware of Armageddon, which the GEP is sure proof of. Don't deny truth.
Little known fact: I have an agent. After seeing my hopes and dreams in a gutter in Taipei, she took my floundering fledgling of a teaching career into her own hands and vowed to end my affiliation with the UET. She started calling me (I didn't have time to get a manager to take these calls) and setting me up on interviews all across Taiwan. Taichung, Hsinchu, and Shijr. I also had two interviews that I got without her help. I nailed all the interviews; wow'ed them with my English speaking skills, my storytelling voice, my knowledge of grammar, and my ability to write in script. No teaching experience? No problem. I went 4 for 5 getting job offers on the spot (I started off 0-1, then caught fire.) That's 80%, people. To put it in perspective, Sidney Crosby only makes 13.7% of his shots, and most golfers only sink about 18 shots out of like, 70+ strokes (~25%). Heck, even LeBron is only shooting 48.7% from the floor this year. Needless to say, I was a sought after person, partially thanks to my agent, who showed me the money and helped put me in a position to be picky. Which is why I chose the best offer: a competitive salary, decent working hours, and free accommodation, 5 minutes walking distance from my school, in a town called Xizhi (or Shijr), which is a 17-23 minute, $21 NT train ride to/from Taipei City. Check out my pics of the new pad and the view from my balcony on the 23rd floor (score 1 for panorama assist! click for a better look).
On Monday, I begin two weeks of boot camp (training/observations) before I officially become a teacher. Boo-yah, GEP!
Little known fact: about 2 weeks ago I looked up the price for a plane ticket home. When we got here, we found out that the Global Economic Plunge, or GEP if you will (yeah, I just made that up), had apparently taken its toll on Taiwan just weeks before we landed. Due to the GEP, there have been many language school closings, leaving a surplus of Unemployed English Teachers, or as I like to call, UETs, a population of which I was recently representing. As many of you know, as a UET, I've spent the majority of my time going to door to door to any places that appeared to be language schools, distributing my resume and warning the unaware of Armageddon, which the GEP is sure proof of. Don't deny truth.
Little known fact: I have an agent. After seeing my hopes and dreams in a gutter in Taipei, she took my floundering fledgling of a teaching career into her own hands and vowed to end my affiliation with the UET. She started calling me (I didn't have time to get a manager to take these calls) and setting me up on interviews all across Taiwan. Taichung, Hsinchu, and Shijr. I also had two interviews that I got without her help. I nailed all the interviews; wow'ed them with my English speaking skills, my storytelling voice, my knowledge of grammar, and my ability to write in script. No teaching experience? No problem. I went 4 for 5 getting job offers on the spot (I started off 0-1, then caught fire.) That's 80%, people. To put it in perspective, Sidney Crosby only makes 13.7% of his shots, and most golfers only sink about 18 shots out of like, 70+ strokes (~25%). Heck, even LeBron is only shooting 48.7% from the floor this year. Needless to say, I was a sought after person, partially thanks to my agent, who showed me the money and helped put me in a position to be picky. Which is why I chose the best offer: a competitive salary, decent working hours, and free accommodation, 5 minutes walking distance from my school, in a town called Xizhi (or Shijr), which is a 17-23 minute, $21 NT train ride to/from Taipei City. Check out my pics of the new pad and the view from my balcony on the 23rd floor (score 1 for panorama assist! click for a better look).
On Monday, I begin two weeks of boot camp (training/observations) before I officially become a teacher. Boo-yah, GEP!
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